Friday, January 20, 2012

January 20, 2012 ~ Fu Manchu, Man. Fu Manchu

It's Purple Friday again, so forgive me if I go all out today. If you have a website and your team is still in the running, then by all means go ahead and dress it up for the occasion.

This morning I got Billy all dressed in his purple onesie. Daddy and I both had our jerseys on to go to work. We've all got purple fever.

On the way out the door I grabbed Billy's Ravens ball cap to take to daycare. Every Friday I stick it in his bag and put it on him on the way in to daycare. I would just stick it on his head, but he hates hats and rips them off once in the carseat. Today, he saw it in my hand and grabbed it from me. Ten he tried to put it on his head himself. I did it for him and he did a little dance for me he was so excited.

In the carseat the hat fell off while I was buckling him in. He threw a fit right there until I put the hat back on him. He was not going to school without Purple Pride.

At work today we took a photo of everyone wearing purple. Since I work in an art studio I decided to be creative today. Well, to borrow someone else's creativity is more like it. At the game last weekend I saw a lot of people wearing purple felt Fu Machu mustaches. If I knew where they had gotten them I would have gotten one too. Why? Joe Flacco, quarterback extraordinaire, has a Fu Manchu mustache. So, I made a paper Fu Manchu for myself for the photo at work.

Then I brought it home.

While Billy thought me wearing it was hysterical, apparently the fashion statement is just too painful for him to bear. Since he refused to sit still for a Fu Manchu portrait, you'll have to settle for the next best thing...

Thursday, January 19, 2012

January 19, 2012 ~ Dear Dirt

Dear Dirt,

My name is Billy and I'm coming for you.

I see you in the form of leaf litter hitching a ride on Buddy's fur. You think you're going to come in where it's warm. I've got news for you. I can pick you up and throw you in the trashcan all by myself. And I will. If I see you on the floor you're as good as thrown out.

I see you left over pine needles from the tree. You think you can escape me because you are hard to pick up. But I have a Mommy and I know how to tell her that you need to be cleaned up pronto. Even if it means her breaking out the evil vacuum. Gulp.

I found you food crumbs and you can't escape me. If Mommy gives me a damp cloth you better believe I'm going to wipe you up off of my high chair. You'll never see me coming. Wham! My tray will be clean and you'll be all gone.

And you, dirty laundry. Yeah you. I am going to put you in the hamper whether you like it or not. You can't stop me. And if I find and holes in you socks I am going to be very upset. Very upset, you hear me?! I don't want to see you around here anymore.

So, be warned Dirt. I've got your number and I am coming for you.

The Hygiene Enforcer (aka Billy)

Drawn In Thursdays: Binky Wars, Episode 3

Click to enlarge

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

January 18, 2012 ~ Content Blocked





Tuesday, January 17, 2012

January 17 ~ Three Syllable Success

This morning was the first time- the very first time ever- that Billy calmed waved "byebye Mommy" when I dropped him at daycare. No screaming. No running towards me. Nope. He just waved at me and said, "byebye Mommy". Will it last? We'll find out tomorrow.

When I got home this evening I found Billy and Daddy cooking dinner. Billy was standing on his stepstool against the counter and supervising dinner. Daddy was stirring the pot, naked from the waist up, dress pants still on, no shoes, no socks, but sunglasses. He apparently didn't want to get his dress shirt, under shirt, socks or shoes dirty while cooking. It was quite a funny sight. Daddy is silly like that sometimes.

I had just been to the store so I had some goodies with me when I came in. I put Billy in his chair and gave him some goldfish. I'm pretty sure he's had them at daycare, but I can't be certain. All I know is that this is the first time I have given him goldfish. You would have thought they were made of pure gold.

Also on his tray was a banana from daycare. He apparently really wanted some banana. So much so that he specifically asked for ba-na-na. Not na-na. But actually asked several times for ba-na-na. This marks the first time he has intentionally said a word with three syllables.

Of course, once the goldfish appeared he didn't want any more ba-na-na. He started begging for caca! (cracker.) You try saying it without any r's.

Monday, January 16, 2012

January 16, 2012 ~ Doggy Dinner Billy Style

One of Billy's favorite family members it Buddy the Dog. Who wouldn't love the fuzzy and incredibly cute, mild-mannered puppy (of 11 years young)? Best yet, he barks and jumps up and down when Billy picks up one of his toys. Buddy is the best interactive toy a boy could hope for.

Well, Billy has decided he wants to help care for his favorite canine companion.

Now, since Billy could stand up he has helped me with putting Buddy out on the chain when Buddy needs to go out. Billy is responsible for looking out for the WackaWackas and the Zingaroos and to tell me if he sees one. Guess what? In all of the looking out he has done he has never seen one. Phew!

What really happens is Billy stands at the screen door while I go out to fetch the chain on the deck, allowing Billy to always be in my sight. It's a win-win.

Now Billy wants to help feed Buddy. Not just tossing his unwanted dinner from his high chair, but actually feeding Buddy his dog food. Poor Buddy who has to suffer the process of getting dinner from Billy. Here's what happens:

Sunday, January 15, 2012

January 15, 2012 ~ Grandma Got Run Over By Billy

If you read the post for Saturday you'll see that Daddy and I went to the game today. It was a big deal. Baltimore is a football town and it's rare that a play-off game is at home. It was a special day and the first real date Daddy and I have been on since Billy was born. We've been to dinner a few times and a few big events (weddings and such) but this was planned by us for us.

Grandma agreed weeks ago to watch Billy during play-offs. There was no way we weren't going.

I went to Grandma's last night to grab some winter clothes and prep her for a full day with Billy under foot. It's a monumental task to take on a toddler for a full day if you're not used to watching kids. Billy is especially active for a toddler, according to his daycare ladies. He runs circles around everyone.

When Grandma got here this morning I walked her through meals, gates, activities. It's a lot. Fortunately for Grandma, Billy has been extra tired and is prone to taking 3-4 hour naps when he is. I figured she'd get to watch most of the game before he woke up and then she would be able to half watch the rest of the game while she chased him around.

In a perfect world, we would have left at 11 while she was feeding him Second Breakfast. Then he would have played for an hour to an hour and then had lunch. Shortly after lunch he would have gone done for a 3-4 hour nap, so somewhere around 1-4pm. Perfect for a 1pm kick-off time. Then he would have gotten up and had a snack, followed by a bath. Then we would get home and it would have been a fabulous day for us and a fairly easy day for Grandma. We don't live in a perfect world.

We managed to get out of the house shortly after 11, but I didn't have Billy in his high chair eating Second Breakfast on the way out. He apparently refused to eat for her. She put him down for his nap but he only slept for 45 minutes. Then she tried to feed him again but he apparently wasn't hungry. Somehow, however, he managed to get Grandma to give him cheese and crackers- his favorite snack. He had no problems eating that. Grandma also went to feed him lunch, but she was so frazzled chasing him from one end of the house to the other that she couldn't find it in the fridge. It turned out she got confused with me telling her where his lunch was and me telling her where HER lunch was in the fridge. Lucky for Grandma, Great Aunt Sheila stopped over to help. Between the two of them they were so frazzled with a toddler running circles around them that they couldn't figure out how to get the gate installed, or how to turn off my ipod, which Billy had navigated off of the main screen. He snuck more snacks from Sheila and managed to steal her coke and try some- a feat never accomplished before. He's not allowed anything with caffeine, since the drug is dangerous for little ones and soda is very unhealthy for kids under a certain age. But he ran them ragged. They were very happy when we got home.

After Grandma left I figured out what was going on. I had gotten him dressed in a super cute sweater that I thought Sheila would like. It has a puppy on it. Now, I cooked the den up nice and warm for Grandma because she is always cold, and it was very cold here today. He was too hot. Therefore, because he was overheated, he didn't want to eat. Grandma said he was super thirsty all day long. He wasn't feeling good because he was hot, so he was drinking to hydrate. Also, because he was too hot, he couldn't sleep. I stripped the sweater off of him and he woofed down 2.5 times his normal dinner portion and ran around like a very happy toddler. He went to sleep, no problem.

I can't blame Grandma. These are the things that a mother might notice, but if you're not with the kid every day you don't see where the trouble is. And if you are cold yourself you probably wouldn't think that a little guy could be super warm. But my little man twice walked outside barefoot today and had to be dragged back in the house. It was so cold that the ice in my soda at the game never melted, so that my coke I bought at 12 was chilly and not watered down 4 hours later. Yeah, that cold.

But, no worries. After a few minutes he was back to his old antics. He was spinning in circles, pushing his cars around and singing. He even learned how to moonwalk! Yes, he moonwalked several times and was so impressed with himself. He also discovered that a napping Daddy is an awesome play toy. Daddy should never nap in Billy's reach. He might get attack hugged a few (ten) times.

Look, Ma! I put two binkies in Daddy's glass!

January 14, 2012 ~ Purple Impaired

Not once since I started this blog have I missed a post. Nope, not once. Well, until today. I apologize. All I can say is that I was Purple Impaired.

It's an affliction sweeping the town. Many are affected. It's all-consuming and you soon forget everything else except: Purple Passion.

It started when Daddy bought playoff tickets. Yes, that's right. The UBER rare home play-off game tickets. I didn't stand a chance.

Saturday was consumed with preparation. Hey, you can't stand outside in 30 degree weather for 5 hours and not be prepared. Daddy went off to the store to pick up supplies and I prepped Billy for a day without his parents. I made all of his meals and got activities ready for Grandma to watch him while we went to the game. After he went to bed I laid out every warm piece of clothing I owned.

I was so excited that I clear plum forgot to post. That has never happened. I even remembered to post on Christmas. Yup, totally Purple Impaired.

Sunday morning I had the jitters- equal to the jitters I had on the morning of our wedding. Yes, that excited and nervous for the game. It's playoff fever and I've got it bad. I love football, but play-offs? OH YEAH.

So, my apologies. The good news? There aren't any more home play-off games. The bad news? There aren't any more home play-off games!!!!

The Star-Spangled Banner, played just minutes from where it was written 200 years ago!

At the game, decked out in purple.

Here come the players...