Saturday, February 25, 2012

The Sunday Post- Sing About Poo

Today I'll just leave you with Billy's two favorite diaper changing songs:

I'm a Stinky Baby
(I'm A Little Teapot)

I'm a stinky baby
yes I am
better change me fast as you can
better change me quick as can be
'cause I pooped and I'm stinky

Super Pooper
(Abba's Super Trooper)

Super pooper
wipes are going to find me
but I won't be blue
it's not the thing to do
'cause in my diaper there is poo

Friday, February 24, 2012

February 24, 2012 ~ Drink Your Peas

At dinner Billy had peas and some other things but he didn't want to eat any of it. Nope. Forget it. Instead he started screaming for my glass of water.

"Mommy, meh! Meh!" pointing wildly at the water.

Ok, ok, I gave him the water. But it was immediately obvious that the glass was in serious danger of losing its life. So, I got a plastic mug out of the cabinet and filled it with water. Oh, boy. That mug could have been made of gold.

First he spilled water all down his front. Then he drank from it. But let's not stop there.

All good food and drink must inevitably become a science experiment. Why eat your peas when you can drink them? He started throwing peas into his water and tried to drink it. Then he screamed when I took the cup away and replaced it with pea-free water.

Clearly, he wanted his pea water.

Thursday, February 23, 2012

February 23, 2011 ~ A Lenten Appeal (Don't Do That!)

Taking a toddler to Church and expecting them to behave is a lot like jumping in to a tank of hungry sharks and expecting them not to bite. Sometimes I think the sharks might be easier to handle.

I made the (unwise) decision to take Billy to Ash Wednesday Mass. Because I work, I took him to the evening Mass, which is also the most crowded. Billy, purse, diaper bag, Car Kitty and myself grabbed a pew in the back. Immediately, he wanted into the diaper bag to see what goodies I had brought him.

Now, thinking ahead, I had removed all of the usual toys from the bag. I usually keep rattles, noise makers and other plastic items that would either sing or make loud noises when banged against the wooden pews. I replaced them with soft toys, hoping that new toys would keep him occupied and that soft toys meant he could bang them against the pew to his heart's content.

I unzipped the bag and on top was his parrot puppet.

"Caca!" he happily screamed in the middle of solemn Mass. In hindsight, naming the parrot Crackers may not have been the best choice.

This would be when I started to sink down in the pew.

Then we pulled out a book. He tried to get the attention of the girl in front of us by throwing the book at her. Ok, time to move.

I picked up Billy, my purse, the diaper bag, Car Kitty and Crackers and went to stand in the side aisle. I rocked Billy on my hip.

"Look!" he points to the stained glass.

"Shh! Billy." I appealed to him to be quiet.

"Uh, oh. Mommy." He points to the prayer candles. Then he wags his finger. "No! No!"

The choir then started singing so I walked him up to see them. Unfortunately, they were out of sight behind the altar for the Mass (which is not standard) so we couldn't see them. Instead I took him in to a side chapel, hoping to keep his attention. He looked around and then pointed up and said, "ah!"

This was followed by an "ah, ah, ah" echo resonating in the chapel. He looked at me stunned.

"Aah! AAH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" He screamed in delight.

Oh. My. God. I sprinted to the back of the Church and out the doors.

In the lobby were several parents with toddlers and all of the short people were talking loudly in toddler-speak. Well, we officially banished ourselves to the lobby with the other parent rejects, unable to keep their happy kids quiet.

I think we'll just pray at home from now on.

Drawn In Thursdays: Hygiene Enforcer #3

Click to Enlarge

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

February 21, 2012 ~ Adventures In Grandpop Babysitting

Tonight was another late night for me at work so Grandpop volunteered to babysit. I got everything ready for him. I wrote a list with the schedule on the board. I prepared enough healthy food for the Russian army for both he and Billy. I had everything for bedtime laid out and ready. Grandpop only had to watch Billy for an hour before bedtime, so I expected it to go easily.

How did it go?

~ Grandpop was initiated with an Epic Poo.

~ Cheese and crackers appear to be the main course from dinner...

~ Billy went to bed over an hour past his bedtime.

But the gentlemen had fun together despite having to pry Billy from me on the way out the door. I guess every kid deserves a little spoiling from their grandpop.

Monday, February 20, 2012

February 20, 2012 ~ How To Lose An Intellectual Debate To A One-Year-Old

For lunch today I gave Billy some grapes with his science experiment, *ahem* I mean peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

He held one up to me and asked, "ball?"

"No honey that's a grape."

"Ball," he said, matter-of-factly and shoved it in his mouth with a smile.

"No. It's a grape. Can you say 'grape'? Grah-ape."

He held up another one. "Bah-all."

"Ok, it looks like a ball. But it's a grape."

He picked up another one and bounced it off of his tray. "Ball!" I don't think I realized that grapes bounce. Apparently, they do.

"Yes, it bounces like a ball, but it's a grape."

He grabbed another one and rolled it across his tray. "Mommy, ball. Buh-all!"

"Yes, it rolls like a ball and is round like a ball and bounces like a ball. But it's a grape."

At this point he had shoved all of them in his mouth (at once) and there were no more on his plate.

"Do you want more grapes?"

"NoNo. Mo(re) ball!"

"Ok, fine. More ball." And that's how he got another bowl of ripe, juicy, red, fruity balls that I like to call 'grapes'.

Sunday, February 19, 2012

February 19, 2012 ~ Going Strawberry Blonde

Mealtime is always an adventure for a toddler- new tastes, new textures... what's not to love? Well, yesterday for lunch Billy decided it was high time to experiment with his food.

What to do with a PB&J? An adult would probably just eat his sandwich and go away contented with lunch. Not Billy. First, he pulled the sandwich apart to examine the innards. Next, he investigated the properties of peanut butter by getting a big dollop of it on each pointer finger and holding those fingers up in front of his face for a good look. Now, I bet you're expecting him to lick the PB from his fingers and say, "yum, yum!" But where's the fun in that? He looked hard at those fingers covered in peanutty goo and then shoved them in his ears. Ha! Bet you weren't expecting that! What? You didn't hear what I said? Maybe it's because you've got peanut butter in your ears.

Also for lunch he had strawberries. Billy loves strawberries. But in the spirit of science he couldn't just eat the strawberries. No, not Billy. He decided that he wanted to change his hair color by rubbing the strawberries all through his hair. Brings new meaning to "strawberry blonde".

Today was an epic blueberry day. Billy ate two bowls full of blueberries. He also learned how to say blueberry. "BooBah!" Since he learned to say "boobah" it's all he wants to eat. I made him stop after a reasonable number. But, come to find out that Daddy also gave him blueberry yogurt. I came home to find him, the highchair, the floor and his clothes covered in blueberry yogurt.

Note to self: limit blueberry intake. blue bum. That's all I'll say.

So let's review the weekend: a bum stained blue, hair dyed strawberry, and peanut butter in the ears.