So, today, being a holiday and all, I was preparing a big meal for our family. Normally, because I have an impatient toddler, I make food with a combined prep + cook time of under twenty minutes. This minimizes the amount of stress in my life so that I don't have to hear Billy whine the whole time about being hungry.
Today I was making a more complicated meal than normal. Nothing terribly fancy. No, that would have meant hours or days of prep work. I've done Thanksgiving before... not that level of prep. Daddy was responsible for the burgers, but I was handling everything else. So, over an hour of prep time for everything. With a one-year-old this is asking a LOT.
I prepped for prepping by bringing boxes of toys into the kitchen. I'm skilled at cooking in an obstacle course, but less skilled at removing a screaming, clingy toddler from me while pouring boiling water out of a pan. So, distractions. It's the name of the game.
I neglected to take into account that Billy likes food. LIKES food. Who needs toys when there's food? He told me he was hungry. No problem. This is good. Perfect, even. He will be confined to the high chair eating and busy (read distracted!) while I prep. I'm all for this. He wants apple. Even better- it's already cut up and ready to go. I love it when a plan comes together.
Or not.
Billy has tossed his apple to Buddy. All of it. I remind him that we don't feed Buddy. Then he asks for rice. I'm not cooking rice, but have it ready to go. I heat it up, add butter and serve. Voile!
Or not.
Suddenly, it's like fireworks on the Fourth of July. Only, instead of pretty, sparkly lights, tiny kernels of rice fly everywhere in an outward exploding fashion. Billy giggles and tells me he's feeding Buddy. Major scolding. Not to mention, Buddy doesn't like rice. Don't feed Buddy!
But Billy insists that he's hungry. So I break down and go for the treats. Really, he doesn't deserve them, but maybe he will be distracted for 5 minutes so I can get stuff done. And...raisins fly around the room. Buddy loves raisins. Of course, because they are poisonous to dogs. LOTS of scolding. Don't feed Buddy!
So Daddy comes in and makes him a quesadilla for dinner and tries to give it to him. He looks at it, doesn't take a single bite, and tosses it on the floor. Don't feed Buddy!
At this point I give up on the food. I take it away and plop him on the floor. Look! Toys! Beepbeeps and Neeyowums and a book! Forget it. He stands by make leg, pulling on my pants whining for food. He spends the next fifteen minutes begging me for an egg. This is problematic, since I am currently cooking eggs, but not the way he's used to and not for him to consume stand alone. They are being hardboiled to add to a salad, not sunny-side up like he's used to. Once they are done though, he continues to harass me for an egg, so I give him a slice. Bring on the refrain. You know it's coming. Don't feed Buddy! Yup. One bite and off to the belly of Princess Fuzzy Butt (Daddy's new nickname for Buddy since he needs a haircut).
And of course, Billy then proceeds to whine for more food.
So I do what any good Mom would do. I play the Mother's Day card. I send Daddy off to the store and make him take Billy. It's amazing how much you can get done without a whining weight attached to your hip. Dinner was done and I sat down to a cocktail with plenty of time to spare.
Bring on dinner.
We all sit down to eat. I fix Billy a plate with only a small amount of food on it, hoping that if he chucks it he won't be able to toss too much to the dog. He did chuck cheese at Buddy, which I gave him to keep him quiet while we served up. C'est la vie. He whined for his hamburger. "Mine!" Then threw it to the dog. Don't feed Buddy!
But, of course, he couldn't get enough watergate salad. Two seconds flat and it was gone. Then he went around the table asking for up from each adult, hoping to swipe the watergate off of their plate. Grandma was a sucker, but I swallowed all of mine down before he could snarf it from my plate. He didn't like that too much, but I made it, so I get to eat it. And enough sugar before bed, already.
I'm all for sharing, but Buddy got more food out of Billy today than his usual doggy dinner, and a lot of it stuff I'd prefer he never eat, especially the stuff that makes him sick. I just can't figure out how to convince Billy... don't feed Buddy!
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