March 12, 2012 ~ A Big Bump

While I was making dinner tonight Billy was playing in the kitchen. We now have a drawer beneath the wall over that houses all of our tupperware. Billy has decided to love pulling all of the pieces out and then putting them all back in the drawer. It's great fun. I would prefer if the drawer would stay neat and the items clean, but well, he can't break them. Better than playing with the pyrex or juggling knives, right?

Why is it that kids always hurt themselves as soon as you turn your back? It's like Murphy's Law, only this is kid specific. I think I'm going to call it Billy's Law: Billy will attempt feats of near certain death any time my attention is distracted.

So, anyway Billy was playing with the tupperware and I was measuring out ingredients. Pause. Moment of silence followed by screaming. Yep. It's the silent part when you know you're in for it. Quiet equals trouble.

What happened? Contrary to popular belief, I don't actually have eyes in the back of my head. So, I didn't see it happen. But I'm pretty sure that he slammed his  hand in the drawer and in the process of trying to remove the owie, slammed his head into the oven. At least we weren't at the old house with the old oven- he would have been burned on his face. (Of course, knowing that oven was a safety hazard I never let Billy near it).

He got an owie on his hand and his forehead. He cried and cried until he suddenly saw a new toy and ran over to it, completely forgetting his pain. The only remnant was the red splotchy mark where I iced his head.

In other news he is now official a Two. They have moved him up at daycare. But, Billy... you're still a One to me.

March 11, 2012 ~ Settling In

Whoever thought to move with a toddler should be shot. Oh wait... no, don't shoot me.

When you have a baby you start babyproofing one step at a time. Of course, we immediately got the childproof locks for the cabinets. And we got rubber bumpers for the coffee table long before he could move. But we started by proofing things about a foot off of the ground. Then when he started crawling more we proofed up to two feet. By the time he was walking we had more things proofed to meet his specific attempts at death.

But in a new house, we're still learning the house ourselves and Billy is quickly figuring out all of the best ways to possibly get hurt before we do. It's a major adjustment.

We now have stairs, so we now have lots of gates. That has been a major adjustment. Billy hates being trapped on one floor, when before he could run the length of the house. Buddy, too. They are both not fans of the gating system. We've been teaching Billy to use the stairs, but honestly, I think it's Buddy that needs the most training.

Next up... doors. Yep. Suddenly, this week Billy has learned to open doors. Which one does he want to open? The one to the Utility Room so he can get into Daddy's tools, the alcohol, climb behind the water heater (ever tried to pry a toddler from behind a water heater???) and fall down the giant drain. I gave up. There's no lock on the door and he can open it with ease. No worries, I'm not going to let anything happen to him. I've just gated that doorway. Now he can open the door to see in but can't get to the oh-so-tempting dangers. Score one for Mommy.

Electrical sockets. Yeah. At the old house we had every socket fixed with covers or had replaced them entirely with the safety sockets. I've done some but the rest are still packed and I haven't found them yet. So what does he try to do? Swipes an Allen wrench from Daddy and tries to shove it into the socket. Awe. (not!) Some.

Showers. The old house he didn't like the shower stall all that much. But here the doors are brand new and glass. They make and excellent thing to bang on with any heavy toy he can find. He even managed to kick one free of its track today. How does he find t his stuff?

Yeah, we're playing major catch up trying to beat Billy to the dangers.

Next time I think to move with a toddler, shoot me. Good thing I don't plan on moving again!

The Sunday Post ~ Baby Boom

Seems like everybody is having a baby these days. For a long time only a few of my friends had children and now it seems like they're all pregnant with either number one or number two. Everywhere I look on the streets I seem to run into pregnant women.

What's going on? Who knows. There must be something in the water.

But I would like to personally welcome a new little angel to the world and congratulate her new parents. I'm so excited for you all. Here are a few things to look forward to:

~ Forget sleep. Sleeping was part of your old life. Welcome to Zombieland.
~ Everything pink. If you're me and LOVE pink, then this is awesome. If you're not a fan of pink, well... better learn to love it!
~ Having conversations about different types of bodily fluids and thinking it's totally normal to talk about it. Then realizing you can't think of anything else to talk about because your whole day was consumed by diapers and spit up.
~ No the dirty bottles aren't breeding, even if they seem to be multiplying.
~ The bestest little smiles in the whole wide world. Yes, I said bestest.
~ Snuggles and cuddles and lots of joy.

Congrats to all of the new parents out there and good luck!

March 9, 2012 ~ Toy Mayhem

One of the benefits of the new house is a playroom for Billy. He's got all of his toys together in one spot. The only thing is, there's not enough toy storage. I only have the one small shelf and the basket and the tub. The result? Toy mayhem.

Daddy assembled Billy's new play table and it's the only clean thing in the room. There's toys everywhere else. Billy just walks in and stares at the mess. I've given up. I have to buy storage before I even try to clean it up.

Billy's solution?

He crawls up onto his new play table and sits there in the only clean space surveying the mass chaos from his seat on high. Toys are not welcome on his table of solace.

Yup. I better get some storage fast. I think they're breeding!

Crazy Creative Corner- Custom Apparel

Do you want to know how to make a custom shirt for your little one that's inexpensive and easy?

Here's how I made this shirt:

1. Buy a plain shirt. I got this one on sale at Babies'R'Us for 5 dollars.
2. Find or create your design.

Ok, it helps that I'm a designer. Here are the key points to remember. Keep it simple. Pick 2-3 colors. Use at least one color as an outline. Measure the area on the shirt that you want your design to occupy. It will be smaller than you think!

3. Buy felt squares in the colors you've picked. I bought one 8.5x11 felt piece in each color at Joann Fabrics and I already had the thread in different colors. The felt pieces are about 30 cents each.
4. Pin a printout of the design to the outer color. For this art that would be the red. Then, carefully cut out the paper and felt at the same time around the outside edge of the red. Now you have your red piece.
5. Pin the printout now to the next color. For this design that would be the white. Then, carefully cut out the paper and felt at the same time around the outside edge of the white. Now you have your white piece.
6.  Pin the printout now to the next color. For this design that would be the blue. Then, carefully cut out the paper and felt at the same time around the outside edge of the blue. Now you have your blue pieces.
7. Now sew the inner color to the middle color (blue to the white). Then sew the blue and white piece to the red. I just used a whip stitch. You could also glue them together (with fabric glue, not Elmer's).
8. Now you have an applique ready to attach to your shirt. Sew it on and you're done!

This took me 2 hours and under $7 to accomplish.

Yet Again...

And again, we have no internet (or phone or TV) because our appt was rescheduled. Normally, I would try to post daily from work instead, but we've been so busy at work that I can't even begin to contemplate how I would fit that in. I get home so late even Daddy is sleeping, so that's been this week. Add to that the fact that I can't find any matching clothes (because they are all packed) and it's been a real bang up week.

Billy's favorite thing about the new house is the window in his bedroom. It is low enough that he can see out without a stool or even tiptoes. It's thrilling for him to watch the world go by. "Look, Mommy! Dog! Woof, woof." That was what he told me he saw. He wouldn't stop telling me until I came over to look at the neighbor walking his dogs. It's very exciting stuff. He also gets to see cars, trucks and even the occasional school bus. "Woooow!" he says.

Just by the fact that he can talk in sentences (like the one above, which is verbatim) means that he has to move up to the next room in daycare. Either next week or the week after he will officially be in the "Twos" room. Poor Billy will be leaving his best friend behind in the "Ones". She's not ready to move up. He is only just 17 months, so I'm thinking it's maybe a bit early to be moving him, but daycare seems to think he'll be bored with the babies now that he can talk more. I guess we'll see.

So until Verizon figures out how to get me plugged in (I"m dying without being able to troll my favorite boards, surf my fav sites and think up excellent words in Words With Friends) I'm going to be stuck randomly posting, not regularly posting.

I apologize profusely for my lack of internet resources. I hope by next week to be back on the interwebs officially and able to catch up with my posts.

Thanks for being patient!

Drawn In Thursdays: Binky Wars, Episode 5

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Reminder!

Just a reminder that regular posting will resume tomorrow with the next installment of...
 Drawn In Thursdays!


What will cartoon Billy do next???

And Now We Return To Your Regularly Scheduled Program...

On Thursday...

That's right. Billy posts will return on Thursday.

We're off the grid until then. It only takes Verizon 5 days to remedy their own mistake. Until then, no phones, no internet and very limited TV. Yep, ABC, the channel channel, a spanish channel, QVC and public broadcast.

By Thursday my posts might be a little crazy... I'm going out of my head without Nat Geo and the Science Channel! Only an infusion of Mythbusters can save me now...

Anyway, look for Billy posts to return Thursday. See you then!

Posting Postponed!

Oh the "joys" of FiOS.

We have no internet, so there will be no regular posting until FiOS can figure their out their bum from their head.

We waited 7 hours for them to show up. I confirmed with them 24 hours before they were supposed to arrive. Did they arrive? No.

Why?

The technicians called the number they were supposed to connect to see if we were home. They couldn't reach us, because the number was disconnected, so they cancelled the appointment. They were supposed to be here all day, so who knows what they decided to really do... maybe they went to the zoo to see the monkeys...

It took an hour on the phone with customer care to determine that the problem was that we weren't answering our phone that the technicians hadn't come out to connect. Really? Really.

So, they told us they would call us back sometime this week to schedule an appointment.

We're still waiting on the phone call to SCHEDULE the damn appointment.

I bet they called the number they haven't connected yet.

The Sunday Post ~ Go Crib Review

A lot of people that I know personally have been asking me about my portable crib. So, here's my product review on the Go Crib. I would like to mention that I have not been contacted by the manufacturer and am receiving no compensation for my review.

I apparently don't take photos of Billy sleeping, so this is the best I've got. Here we are at the beach with Billy asleep in the portable crib (and Uncle Alex passed out in front of it).

When Daddy bought this expensive item I said, "what the heck is that??? We don't need that! We have a Pack'n'Play!" Ok, ok... maybe Daddy is right sometimes. Just don't tell him- it might go to his head.

The first time we used it was our camping trip in western West Virginia. It was a grueling 5 hour car ride with a screaming baby (popping ears from driving over mountains=unhappy camper...teehee). We arrived after dusk and had to set up our tent and gear in the dark. Fortunately, the rest of our group was there, so at least we had a fire to see by. But we had a cranky baby ready for bed in the middle of the woods.

After Daddy got the tent set up it took only 10 minutes in the dark with first time use to get the whole thing set up and Billy into it. Getting him to sleep was a whole different matter...

A few weeks later we took it to a festival with our friends and Billy's girlfriend. He and his gf played in it and then napped together in it in the middle of the festival. The best part there was since its carrying case is a small lightweight backpack, it was no problem to lug it into the festival. And the case holds the included foot pump, so everything goes with you when you take it places to set it up easily.

In July we hauled it to Florida on an airplane for a wedding. We used it in the hotel room instead of getting a hotel provided crib. It was great. I had no trouble getting it through security and brought it with me as my carry-on. I knew it was clean and safe and he was already familiar with it.

We also took it to the farmhouse for a month and he slept in it the whole time. I only had to re-inflate it once in the whole month. He was comfortable in it the whole time. That's not to say that I could always get him to go to sleep...

We also took it with us every time we went to the beach so Billy could sleep under the umbrella. He had no trouble sleeping on the beach. And it was easy to haul. Although, I have to admit that it leaks air more now that it's been exposed to sand (won't stay inflated for more than a week now). The zip-down flap on the side also gave Billy the ability to climb in and out of it by himself. He hated the sand, but didn't mind sitting in the Go Crib, so he was in and out. It locks, so you can keep the kid in when you want, or open it up to let them have free reign.

So there it is. If you're a parent on the go, the Go Crib is awesome to own. We couldn't survive without it. Daddy and I both highly recommend it.

But where can you get it? We've only seen it available at REI and on Amazon.com. The baby stores don't seem to carry it.

Check it out:
Go Crib on Amazon.com

March 2, 2012 ~ Our Last Night At Home

Right now Billy is all snuggled in his crib for his last night in his first home. Tomorrow night he will sleep in a new home, although I can't swear that the crib will be set up.

He was very upset watching his nursery furniture leave his room and head out to the truck. And he didn't want to go to sleep in his room, probably because it doesn't look like his room anymore. It's a lot to take in for a little man and he doesn't understand what's going on.

Boy will he get a big surprise in the morning. Everything gone. And then, everything will reappear in a brand new place. What an adventure!

But I am so lucky to have Billy sleeping in his crib, healthy if not happy.

~
Right now, in the Johns Hopklns Children's Hospital there is a little girl fighting for her life. She weighs less than a pound and wears a diaper the size of a dollar bill. She's in an incubator and her stay will be a long one. I don't know her name and she's one of many. Right now they are running their annual drive to raise money to buy comfort items for the 100,000 children they treat every year. Consider donating.
~

I have no idea if my internet will be up and running, so for the next few days please forgive me if I can't post regularly. I hope to have everything up and running as soon as possible.

March 1, 2012 ~ The Language Leap

Today Billy took some major strides in language.

This morning he called Tigger by name. I didn't even know that he knew Tigger's name. But he said, "Mommy, Tig!" and pointed at the fluffy little orange thing.

Then, getting out of the car he pointed and said, "Choo! Choo!" The train was zooming past. I've heard him say this before, but always prompted.

After dinner he walked over to the counter, pointed up, and made the hand sign for "more." I have been trying to teach him this but have never seen him actually do it.

I can't explain, but today he made a mental leap. He is picking up more vocabulary words and making connections between one object and another. It might seem small, but the jump between prompting and verbalizing without prompting is a big leap in my mind.

Of course, I can't prove any of this. If I prompt him to say something in front of others he shuts up like a clam. No, really...I swear. He talks, he talks!

Drawn In Thursdays: Boy's Best Friend #2

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January 28, 2012 ~ What Are We Doing Tonight, Brain?

Billy is on his way to taking over the world.

This morning of his on volition he climbed up into the desk chair. Climbed up by himself, a feat only accomplished in that past two days. The swinging and twirling of the desk chair make it difficult to climb into.

Anyway, he wanted to play on the computer. He started pressing buttons until he was opening windows and typing things into them. He didn't know what he was doing, but to the untrained observer he looked like a computer genius. He was able to pull up the "Find" window and search through files using keywords. He even got himself into the program files.

And by himself, I mean that I provided no assistance at all. He even figured out how to maneuver the mouse by himself and use it to open things. Don't believe me?

He's so proud of himself. Yep. He's my little computer genius.

"So, what are we doing tonight, Brain?"
"The same thing we do every night, Pinky. Try to take over the world!"
(Don't get the reference? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Animaniacs)

Oh, yeah. And it's kind of a big day... we bought a house. WE BOUGHT A HOUSE!

February 27, 2012 ~ The Potato Strikes Again!

If you are a personal friend of mine then you have probably heard the tale of the Golden Potato...you may have even seen the Golden Potato. If you have no idea what I'm talking about then let me summarize: Daddy+potato+alcohol+2008=HILARITY.

Anyway, yesterday Billy decided he wanted to play with a potato. I couldn't get him to leave it alone. It was a little white potato. Well, he decided it was a ball. He bounced it. He rolled it. He tried to get Buddy to play fetch with it. Yep. Potatoes are like balls.

Well, I've been trying to teach Billy to clean up his toys. Most of the time he puts his toys in the right bin and then refuses to let go and pulls them right back out and continues to play. It's a work in progress.

So, today, when I went to fry up that little white potato for Billy to eat tomorrow, do you know what I found? A tennis ball. Buddy's tennis ball. In the potato bin. Apparently, if a potato is like a ball, then a ball belongs with the potatoes. Yes, a Buddy toy full of slobber in with my food. Ooh, yum!




And now for your daily moment of cute...

Buddy got in trouble today for eating half of Billy's cracker right out of his hand. Billy was telling me a tale in toddlerspeak and not watching his cracker-filled hand. Buddy waited patiently for the moment to strike. Billy looked up in abject horror as half of his cracker vanished down the gullet of the cuddly beast. Then he went right back to babbling incessantly.

Buddy got some serious punishment for taking food from a baby.

After a few minutes I thought it was high time for Buddy to be forgiven.

"Billy, go tell Buddy that you love him. Go on," I pushed. I wasn't expecting anything to happen.

But just then, cuteness occurred. For weeks now, Billy has a new habit. If you ask him for a kiss, he will stick out his neck and present his cheek- aka, 'you may give me a kiss, my loyal subject'. It's very cute and quite humorous. Well, he walked over to Buddy and presented his cheek. Buddy's response? He walked away. So, Billy followed him and continued to present his cheek. Buddy relented and was treated to having Billy gently rub his cheek all over Buddy's cheek and Buddy's side.

Don't ever doubt. They are BFFs.

February 26, 2012 ~ 3 Parenting Fails and a Parenting Wail

One Sunday, three FAILS.

1. Billy is learning his food words. Every meal he points to each item on his plate and I tell him what it is. Then he repeats the word for me the best that he can. This morning he had Cheerios, apples, bread and milk. He repeated each one. But five minutes later he picked up the soda bread and said (in perfect English with perfect pronunciation) "apple". No, "bread." Then at dinner he had some regular bread. He picked it up, showed it to Daddy and said (in perfect English with perfect pronunciation)"apple!" FAIL.

2. While playing with his toys he picked up his football and shoved it in his mouth. It was really cute until he put it down, walked over to a Buddy ball and shoved that in his mouth. We're still working on separation of toys...apparently, not very well. FAIL.

3. Billy was playing with something he knew he wasn't supposed to pick up because it was too heavy/dangerous/notmadeforbabies. He suddenly dropped it, possibly on his foot, and yelled (in perfect English with perfect pronunciation) "f*ck!" FAIL.

And a parenting wail...

This evening I decided to take a shower to have a fifteen minute break after a long day with my Crankypants (teething again, argh!). I climbed in to the nice steamy water for my relaxing break for the day. Just then, I heard the patter, patter, patter of little feet. Billy came bounding into the bathroom, followed by Daddy, followed by Buddy. Billy started slapping the glass, so I played our tapping game with him (I tap with my hand and leave it there and then he repeats). Then I kindly asked Daddy to make everyone leave so I could have some privacy. A minute later I heard the patter, patter, patter of little feet.

"Honey, he only wants Mommy, so we're going to play in the bathroom."

There I am, just trying to shampoo my hair like any normal woman with a Daddy and a baby and a dog there for company. Then I see Billy waving his binky over the open toilet. Dear God, please don't let him drop his binky in the toilet! But, I was saved by poop! Yes, Billy decided just then to let fly and Daddy had to rush him out for a diaper change. Phew! The binky was saved, I knew I had 5 minutes to myself and Daddy got stuck with a stinkeroo. But, of course, as soon as he had a new diaper, I had an audience again.

And that was my nice, relaxing, 15 minute time to myself. Yup.

The Sunday Post- Sing About Poo

Today I'll just leave you with Billy's two favorite diaper changing songs:

I'm a Stinky Baby
(I'm A Little Teapot)

I'm a stinky baby
yes I am
better change me fast as you can
better change me quick as can be
'cause I pooped and I'm stinky


Super Pooper
(Abba's Super Trooper)

Super pooper
wipes are going to find me
but I won't be blue
it's not the thing to do
'cause in my diaper there is poo

February 24, 2012 ~ Drink Your Peas

At dinner Billy had peas and some other things but he didn't want to eat any of it. Nope. Forget it. Instead he started screaming for my glass of water.

"Mommy, meh! Meh!" pointing wildly at the water.

Ok, ok, I gave him the water. But it was immediately obvious that the glass was in serious danger of losing its life. So, I got a plastic mug out of the cabinet and filled it with water. Oh, boy. That mug could have been made of gold.

First he spilled water all down his front. Then he drank from it. But let's not stop there.

All good food and drink must inevitably become a science experiment. Why eat your peas when you can drink them? He started throwing peas into his water and tried to drink it. Then he screamed when I took the cup away and replaced it with pea-free water.

Clearly, he wanted his pea water.

February 23, 2011 ~ A Lenten Appeal (Don't Do That!)

Taking a toddler to Church and expecting them to behave is a lot like jumping in to a tank of hungry sharks and expecting them not to bite. Sometimes I think the sharks might be easier to handle.

I made the (unwise) decision to take Billy to Ash Wednesday Mass. Because I work, I took him to the evening Mass, which is also the most crowded. Billy, purse, diaper bag, Car Kitty and myself grabbed a pew in the back. Immediately, he wanted into the diaper bag to see what goodies I had brought him.

Now, thinking ahead, I had removed all of the usual toys from the bag. I usually keep rattles, noise makers and other plastic items that would either sing or make loud noises when banged against the wooden pews. I replaced them with soft toys, hoping that new toys would keep him occupied and that soft toys meant he could bang them against the pew to his heart's content.

I unzipped the bag and on top was his parrot puppet.

"Caca!" he happily screamed in the middle of solemn Mass. In hindsight, naming the parrot Crackers may not have been the best choice.

This would be when I started to sink down in the pew.

Then we pulled out a book. He tried to get the attention of the girl in front of us by throwing the book at her. Ok, time to move.

I picked up Billy, my purse, the diaper bag, Car Kitty and Crackers and went to stand in the side aisle. I rocked Billy on my hip.

"Look!" he points to the stained glass.

"Shh! Billy." I appealed to him to be quiet.

"Uh, oh. Mommy." He points to the prayer candles. Then he wags his finger. "No! No!"

The choir then started singing so I walked him up to see them. Unfortunately, they were out of sight behind the altar for the Mass (which is not standard) so we couldn't see them. Instead I took him in to a side chapel, hoping to keep his attention. He looked around and then pointed up and said, "ah!"

This was followed by an "ah, ah, ah" echo resonating in the chapel. He looked at me stunned.

"Aah! AAH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" He screamed in delight.

Oh. My. God. I sprinted to the back of the Church and out the doors.

In the lobby were several parents with toddlers and all of the short people were talking loudly in toddler-speak. Well, we officially banished ourselves to the lobby with the other parent rejects, unable to keep their happy kids quiet.

I think we'll just pray at home from now on.

Drawn In Thursdays: Hygiene Enforcer #3

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February 21, 2012 ~ Adventures In Grandpop Babysitting

Tonight was another late night for me at work so Grandpop volunteered to babysit. I got everything ready for him. I wrote a list with the schedule on the board. I prepared enough healthy food for the Russian army for both he and Billy. I had everything for bedtime laid out and ready. Grandpop only had to watch Billy for an hour before bedtime, so I expected it to go easily.

How did it go?

~ Grandpop was initiated with an Epic Poo.

~ Cheese and crackers appear to be the main course from dinner...

~ Billy went to bed over an hour past his bedtime.

But the gentlemen had fun together despite having to pry Billy from me on the way out the door. I guess every kid deserves a little spoiling from their grandpop.

February 20, 2012 ~ How To Lose An Intellectual Debate To A One-Year-Old

For lunch today I gave Billy some grapes with his science experiment, *ahem* I mean peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

He held one up to me and asked, "ball?"

"No honey that's a grape."

"Ball," he said, matter-of-factly and shoved it in his mouth with a smile.

"No. It's a grape. Can you say 'grape'? Grah-ape."

He held up another one. "Bah-all."

"Ok, it looks like a ball. But it's a grape."

He picked up another one and bounced it off of his tray. "Ball!" I don't think I realized that grapes bounce. Apparently, they do.

"Yes, it bounces like a ball, but it's a grape."

He grabbed another one and rolled it across his tray. "Mommy, ball. Buh-all!"

"Yes, it rolls like a ball and is round like a ball and bounces like a ball. But it's a grape."

At this point he had shoved all of them in his mouth (at once) and there were no more on his plate.

"Do you want more grapes?"

"NoNo. Mo(re) ball!"

"Ok, fine. More ball." And that's how he got another bowl of ripe, juicy, red, fruity balls that I like to call 'grapes'.

February 19, 2012 ~ Going Strawberry Blonde

Mealtime is always an adventure for a toddler- new tastes, new textures... what's not to love? Well, yesterday for lunch Billy decided it was high time to experiment with his food.

What to do with a PB&J? An adult would probably just eat his sandwich and go away contented with lunch. Not Billy. First, he pulled the sandwich apart to examine the innards. Next, he investigated the properties of peanut butter by getting a big dollop of it on each pointer finger and holding those fingers up in front of his face for a good look. Now, I bet you're expecting him to lick the PB from his fingers and say, "yum, yum!" But where's the fun in that? He looked hard at those fingers covered in peanutty goo and then shoved them in his ears. Ha! Bet you weren't expecting that! What? You didn't hear what I said? Maybe it's because you've got peanut butter in your ears.

Also for lunch he had strawberries. Billy loves strawberries. But in the spirit of science he couldn't just eat the strawberries. No, not Billy. He decided that he wanted to change his hair color by rubbing the strawberries all through his hair. Brings new meaning to "strawberry blonde".

Today was an epic blueberry day. Billy ate two bowls full of blueberries. He also learned how to say blueberry. "BooBah!" Since he learned to say "boobah" it's all he wants to eat. I made him stop after a reasonable number. But, come to find out that Daddy also gave him blueberry yogurt. I came home to find him, the highchair, the floor and his clothes covered in blueberry yogurt.

Note to self: limit blueberry intake. blue bum. That's all I'll say.

So let's review the weekend: a bum stained blue, hair dyed strawberry, and peanut butter in the ears.

The Sunday Post ~ Leggo the Leggins

Once upon a time I tried the whole leggins fashion. I was 10. It wasn't a good look. I would post some terribly awkward cute kiddie pics of myself, but the fashion was so horrifyingly ugly on me that I pretty sure that I burned all of those pics. And if I didn't I should have.

Later in life I returned to the leggins fashion- as exercise clothes. I had a whole workout wardrobe and thought I looked pretty chic. Except in the leggins. I went with them for comfort. But there were serious camel toe issues. Let's just acknowledge that elephant in the room. Too big and they wouldn't stay on, just right in size and whoosh! Riding up. It's an ugly sight.

So, much to my chagrin, this year the fashion rolled around for leggins with the tunic look. I wore this style back in the nineties, albeit with electric eighties prints and matching neon designs on the t-shirts. The rule in fashion is if you wore it before, you can't wear it again. So I plan on ignoring the latest fashion trend. Camel toe just isn't a good look for me.

On some ladies leggins look great (hey G... I'm talking to you!) Those are the fit right/right body type pants. On other ladies I have to wonder. I saw a grandmother in Target the other day wearing leggins. I saw more of where her "sun don't shine" than I ever wanted to see on a stranger. Some things are better left put away. Then there are the girls trying to pass off see-through tights for leggins. I feel like breaking into grade school rhyme when I see that... "I see London, I see France, I can see your underpants!"

I get it.  I was a teenager once. But I have to wonder about the grown women going out in public proudly toting their camel toe like a Prada handbag. Really ladies?

Where will fashion take us next? I just hope that next year's look isn't butt crack.

February 17, 2012 ~ Baptism: A Look Back

This weekend marks the one year anniversary of Billy joining the Church.

This is, by far, my favorite picture of Billy. Daddy is not a fan: he thinks the white baptism outfit is weird. But I love the little bonnet and the expression is priceless to me. The humorous thing about this photo is that he was actually crying at the time.

He wasn't so thrilled about this photo shoot we did a few days after the big event. We managed to get some really cute photos inbetween the tears, though.

These photos represent the beginning of (hopefully) a very long journey with religion and the Church. But a year out, he has had very little exposure. Daddy and I used to go often, but attending Mass with a toddler is just out of the question. He can't sit still or quiet for an hour and our Church doesn't have a kids' room. I have NO idea how parents manage to take their kids. We gave up. We went to Christmas Mass and Daddy and I took turns walking him around the VERY crowded Church to keep him quiet. I never leave before the priest exits the altar, but with Billy in tow we actually had to leave before that. Billy simply would not tolerate being in Church longer.

Some day I hope to take him to Church, but it's just not going to happen at this age. We tried a couple of times, but it's not worth the effort. Daddy and I don't get the experience we want out of it, and Billy doesn't understand what's going on.

Well at least he's baptized, right?

February 16, 2012 ~ The Birds

This morning on our way out to work and daycare a peculiar sight stopped us in our tracks. Out on the lawn were hundreds of blackbirds and over twenty robins. It was quite a sight to behold. They were making a racket and I had several thoughts about Alfred Hitchcock while we stood in the driveway admiring this awesome sight.

"Kock, Kock!" Billy pointed, meaning "quack, quack".

He knew enough to compare his toy ducks to other birds and to know what noise a duck makes, and therefore, these birds.

"No. Those are Robin Redbreasts. They say chirp, chirp."

"RaRa... chi chi?" He asked.

"Yes, that's right." Well, pretty close anyway.

"Ooh. Duck. Kock, kock!"

And we're back to the ducks.

He found them so interesting that he ran at the lot of them on the lawn, causing hundreds of birds to take to the air and landing in the trees, sending up a cacophony of alarm. He just stood there and pointed up at the trees.

I don't know what inspired all of those birds to be out on the lawn this morning. All I know is that they inspired my son to "chi, chi" the whole way to daycare.

Drawn In Thursdays: Boy's Best Friend #1

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February 14, 2012 ~ The New Shoe Jig

Billy has finally outgrown his old shoes. This morning I broke out the new pair I bought him for Christmas that have been waiting in the closet for the inevitable growth spurt. It was love at first sight. He put them on and danced around the whole morning in his new shoes. Little stutter steps and lots of spinning around. It looked like a jig as he tested his new shoes.

Today also came with the Crayon Incident. The paper came off of the green crayon. This was an absolute tragedy. I tried to get him to color with the paperless crayon, but it was a No Go. Finally, I got the paper back on to the crayon and the world was right again. I never thought I'd see tears shed over the crayon wrapper.

For dinner I decided to treat him to dessert. As soon as I pulled out the cake that was the end of dinner. He saw that cake and that was all he was going to eat. He sucked every last sugar crystal from the fork like it was pure gold. Well, it is a pretty tasty treat- key lime cheesecake from the cheesecake factory. Yum. Even Billy was saying, "nom, nom, nom!"

So in honor of the holiday Billy would like to send you this very special valentine.

Happy Valentine's Day, toddler style.

February 13, 2012 ~ Attack Robot!

After daycare I took Billy over to Grandma's for a visit. Usually he doesn't visit with her in the den, but she was sitting down there so we joined her. The first thing he noticed at the bottom of the steps was Roomba, her vacuum robot. He was very curious about it so I brought it in to the den with us.

I sat Roomba in the middle of the room and turned him on. He made his little beeps and bleeps and then began his spiral vacuum pattern. Immediately, Billy was afraid. He grabbed my pants and hid behind me. I demonstrated that Roomba is harmless and walked in front of it. Roomba gently tapped into my foot and rotated, then tapped again and again until it found a clear path away from my feet. But Billy still wasn't sure so I turned Roomba off and then sat down next to it.

Billy ran over and pointed to Roomba. The On/Off button was still lit up and called to him. He bent over and pressed it with gusto. Then Roomba sprang to life with his beeps and bleeps and took off sweeping. Billy leaped from the floor at the speed of light. He fell and propelled himself at the same time into my arms. While Roomba merrily vacuumed along, Billy clung to me for dear life and wouldn't let go until he was sure that Roomba was off for good.

You would think that vacuums would be a Hygiene Enforcer's best friend. But no, they are mortal enemies. Or rather, Roomba chugs along unawares while Billy runs screaming from it.

February 12, 2012 ~ First Haircut

That's right. Today Billy got his first haircut. It wasn't at a shop. It was in the kitchen and the barber was me. I sat down in the chair and put him on my lap. I trimmed off the curls in the back so now he truly has short hair. But I was too scared to go after his bangs and around his ears. One, he's squirmy and I'm terrified of nicking him. Two, I'm terrified that I will cut it wrong and he will be stuck with a bad haircut courtesy of Mommy until if grows out. But it looks much better.

As of this weekend Billy also has a new trick. Zerbert!

Imagine this and pardon the TMI. I wasn't feeling so hot and was having some quality time with the throne. At that most inopportune time Billy, who was hanging out in the throne room with me, decided to have a new trick. He walked over to my bare knee and... Zerbert! Not once, not twice, but three times I got raspberries while trapped. He's so proud of himself.

Later, he demonstrated to Grandma how he can attack hug me and zerbert any bare skin he can find. He crawled up under my big sweater (it's a wrap style but I didn't have the belt on). He figured out how to get my shirt up enough to zerbert my back. Lots of giggles. He was so proud of himself for knowing how to zerbert Mommy.

This weekend Billy also got to see our new home for the first time and got to help Daddy start packing up our stuff to move. It's a daunting task, and Billy's not so sure about the whole process, but it will be a grand adventure. But that's a story for another day!

The Sunday Post- Spanking

A big discussion that came up this week on another blog I follow was about spanking. Yes or no?

It seemed that parents are divided and heated about their positions on spanking. Studies show that spanking does long term emotional harm to children.

But I think that the definition of spanking isn't clearly defined enough to prove or disprove anything. There's "spanking" that involves belts and bare bottoms and then there's spanking that uses light raps on the bottom, sometimes clothed. Are these in the same category? Do they cause the same kind of damage? There is a whole spectrum of spanking. It's a hot button topic and open for debate.

I'm not a big fan of spanking. And depending on the child there are much better punishment methods out there. But Daddy and I do sometimes have to use light raps to cull the bad behavior. What do we mean? We never, ever bend Billy over the knee with bare bottom. Nope. Too far for us. If he is really bad- having been told "no" three times and been in time out and still continues the dangerous behavior- then he gets a rap. I usually call it a bum smack. Three taps on the rear in the diaper and fully clothed, nothing stronger than a pat on the back. In every instance it has curbed his behavior. And we follow up with making him apologize and getting a hug. This is a specific practice for a toddler too young to listen to words, too young to understand time out and too young to know not to run in front of a car.

Discipline is very important to us and we work on it every day. It's a constant struggle and we are always instructing Billy on what is right and wrong for his health, safety and social welfare. We work hard enough on it that getting a rap on the bum is something very rare around here. He knows better because we teach him daily. And he reinforces that knowledge by walking around and telling me what he knows is a NoNo.

So how do you feel on the issue? To spank or not to spank?

February 10, 2012 ~ Old Dog, New Tricks

This morning Billy learned a new NoNo. He was following Buddy around and finally got him cornered. Then he grabbed Buddy's short, little tail and hung on for dear life, laughing hysterically. Well, docked doggy tails are pretty funny. But Buddy's not to fond of a 25lb weight hanging off of his tail.

"Billy!" I said forcefully, "no, no!"

Right on cue Billy let go. Oh, NoNo? So now we have a new game. Billy chases Buddy's bum around the room giggling "NoNo!" Just in case you were wondering, Buddy's bum is off limits.

This evening Billy continued to harass Buddy, but I made Billy apologize and give Buddy a big hug. Billy just wants to be best buds. Sorry for the pun, but it's true. Billy threw Buddy's ball for him, all 4 feet that Billy can muster. Billy shared his snack with Buddy. And Billy tried to pet him on his back gently- well, gently for a toddler, anyway.

Dogs are a very interesting thing to Billy and he wants to know more about them. He sat in my lap while Buddy showed off his repertoire of tricks. Billy even got to shake Buddy's hand on command. I asked Buddy to talk and then taught Billy to talk back to Buddy. Buddy would do his high-pitched trick bark (the one that gets him treats) and Billy would say "oo, oo!" right back at him in a high-pitched voice. OoOo, like "woof, woof" for someone that can't say w's or f's.

Yep. I taught my son some new tricks for playing with our old dog.

February 9, 2012 ~ The Wagging Billy Finger

Billy will be happy to walk you around the house wagging his finger and letting you know what is a "no, no!" He walks into a room and immediately goes over to the NoNo and wags his finger at it, letting me know that he knows it's a NoNo. Care to walk around the house?

The Den:
Radiator: "NoNo. Hot!" Finger wags.
Wall heater: "NoNo." Hands in air. He's not sure why it's a NoNo.
TV: "NoNo." Then he smacks it with his hands and I shout, "No! No!" He laughs.

The Kitchen:
Dog water: "NoNo." Finger wags. Tries to stick a foot in the water anyway.
Oven: "NoNo. Hot!" Not right now, but let's go with it.
Trash: "Ooooh!" What Hygiene Enforcer doesn't love a dirt container? He loves to throw things out.

Our Bedroom:
Outlets: "NoNo." Finger wags.
My alarm clock: "NoNo." Tries to push the buttons anyway and grabs the electrical cord. "Billy, no!"

Bathroom:
Toilet: "NoNo." Then he grabs as much toilet paper as he can before I stop him and throws it into the toilet. "Look!" Yes, yes. That's enough. Save some TP for me! Mommy doesn't wear a diaper!

Wherever we are, Billy will be sure to let me know what is a "NoNo." Then, if he feels like it, he'll do it anyway. It's a toddler prerogative.

Drawn In Thursdays: Hygiene Enforcer #2

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February 7, 2012 ~ A Picture of Paw

On a bookshelf in our den I keep an old, faded photo, yellow with time. It is a photo of great importance to me, although I look at it infrequently. It is my parent's wedding photo. They are young, happy, long before the divorce. Standing with them are their parents. They are dressed in all of their finery. To my knowledge it is the only photo with all of them together.

I have taken flack from both of my parents for displaying their wedding photo. But it's not about their defunct marriage. It's about the people. In that photo are all of my parents, grand or otherwise.

Today while playing, Billy went over to look at the digital picture frame that sits next to the old wedding photo. Then he looked at the photo and pointed directly at my maternal grandfather. "Granddad!" he said matter-of-factly.

I have never referred to this man by that name. To me he was simply Paw. I grew up in his house and was as close to him as I am with my parents. This is the benefit of having three generations under one roof. There is a very special bond when the grandparent is around full time. I think of him often. But, honestly, I rarely speak of him now.

I have also never talked to Billy about who is in the photo. Speaking of long gone relatives seems a bit over the head of a one-year-old. We're still working on things like eating with a fork. So, he should have no knowledge of who is in the photo other than by mistake.

Daddy suggested that maybe he thought the man in the photo was Grandpop and he said the wrong name too. I guess this could be so. But Paw is wearing thick-rimmed glasses in the photo and Grandpop doesn't need glasses. Also, the two men look nothing alike, except for the receding hairlines. Perhaps he thinks it is his grandfather (Daddy's dad). At least he wears glasses. But Billy has only met him twice and I doubt would recall him by name.

I will probably never know if it was simply a mistake or if he somehow knows who Paw is. But I would like to think that maybe, just maybe, his namesake is watching over him. I hope so.

February 6, 2012 ~ Early Morning Serenade

First, I would like to report that Billy is doing just fine and still has no symptoms from his fall.

This morning Billy woke up extra early. He was up before me, before Daddy and even before the sun. At least once a week he does this, if not more often. How do I know? He wakes up and starts singing.

Imagine a nice warm bed, all cozy and sleeping soundly. Then, the soft wafting of toddler tune drifting through your bedroom door and waking you up in the darkness before dawn. Sometimes too quiet to hear, sometimes loud, never to a recognizable song nor with a tune you could remotely try to follow. The lyrics are always unitelligible toddler ramble, non-rhyming and repetitive. Sometimes, rarely, his melodic windings will be interjected with an, "oh, no!" or "oh, look!" or "uh, oh!" Sometimes, rarely, giggles and pure laughter will punctuate the songs. Then, when one of our alarms goes off, the happy singing will turn to whining [translation: I can hear you, come get me now].

This morning Billy woke me before my alarm. I turned it off and let him serenade me. He kept singing until I got up to get him, happy as a clam in his crib. What better way to wake up?

February 5, 2012 ~ Dreams and Nightmares

Yesterday morning began with Billy crying in his crib. "Bye bye, Bud Bud!" He kept screaming over and over. I couldn't get him to settle down until I called Buddy into the nursery and showed Billy that Buddy was still with us. As soon as Buddy left the room to go wait by his food bowl Billy started screaming again, "Bye bye, Bud Bud!" Even when I let Buddy outside in the morning Billy screamed for his Buddy. It was any time Buddy went out of sight. He must have had a bad dream about Buddy and couldn't shake it when he woke. It took over an hour for Billy to settle down and understand that Buddy wasn't leaving us.

When Billy woke up from his nap, much happier than in the morning, it was snowing. Big, fat flakes. I opened the door so he could watch through the storm door as they fell down and covered the driveway. He wanted to go outside, but it was very wet out and didn't seem like such a good idea.

I, however, did have to go out in the weather and run an errand. When I got back I found Billy in his wagon and Buddy hooked up to the front of it in a makeshift harness pulling the wagon around. Daddy thought this was quite funny and Billy was having an excellent time. Buddy was no worse for wear, but I unhooked him from the wagon and he ran off with a toy for some baby-free time.

Billy spent most of Sunday with Daddy. I had to go out of town for a baby shower, so I was around in the morning but I was getting ready. I stayed to put him down for a nap but then I was off. While I was gone Grandpop and Uncle Alex stopped in, but I wasn't back yet.

The biggest thing to happen today was that Daddy had put goop in Billy's hair so I had to wash it out. I opted for the shower since in the bath he would have to sit in the water with the washed out goop. Daddy didn't think about whether or not his adult hair product would be good for baby. Fortunately, it wasn't on his head for very long. Anyway, I took him in the shower to wash it out.

When we were getting out of the shower Billy slipped and fell. It's one of those things where I was right there. But he waiting until I was reaching for the towel to slip and in that slit second hit his head. Of the thousand times a day I catch him when he falls, he has to wait until we're on tile for me to miss. He went bum first, so it wasn't a full fall, but he has a small lump on his head.

I've been watching him neurotically all evening for any dizziness, changes in behavior and sleepiness. But, of course, it was close to bedtime when he fell, so one would assume he would be tired anyway. And when your toddler does new and different behaviors every day it's hard to know what's normal and what's abnormal, especially since I wasn't with him all day. He's not showing any signs of trauma, but I've been waking him up every hour on the hour anyway to make sure.

We did contemplate going to the hospital, but since he seemed normal we're just watching him at home. Kids fall down, it's part of growing up. So while the hyper Mommy chip in my brain is causing me to go into panic mode, I'm trying to let reason take over instead. A small scrape isn't worth pandemonium and a small fall calls for caution not calamity.

The Sunday Post ~ The Future Animal Kingdom

I would like to introduce you to an animal that you've probably never heard of. Please meet the African Scimitar Oryx:

Scimitar Oryx

The particular type of antelope is extinct in the wild. When I was a child they still lived in their native lands but were critically endangered. They are now gone except for zoos, a few conservation ranches in Africa and several game reserves in Texas. In fact, there are several thousand Scimitar Oryxes roaming around Texas on these reserves.

Previously, exotic animals like the oryx were exempt from the Endangered Species Act when raised on these game reserves. Hunting them as trophies generated big money for the ranchers. Now, thanks to a change in the law, those animals can no longer be hunted on the ranches.

When ranchers were generating revenue from these animals there was incentive to continue breeding and maintaining large herds of these antelope. Now that it is illegal to hunt them, do you think ranchers will continue to breed and maintain their herds? What does this mean for the future of the species? Will conservationism alone be enough to sustain the oryx?

Ten years from now it is entirely possible that this species will be gone. Billy might only get to read about them in science books or see video of this creature. They might be gone and he won't get to experience their majesty in person.

It's not just the oryx. There are so many other species that are on the brink. Conservation alone is not going to save them all. Money is the driving force in this world. So is it wrong for ranchers to make money on hunting a few of these animals in order to breed so many more?

In this case I think it is worth sacrificing a few to save the species so future generations can enjoy them too.

What do you think?

February 3, 2012 ~ The Dog Bowl Made Me Do It!

Last night Billy got into trouble for putting the feather duster in the dog water. Daddy has stepped up his punishment for playing in the dog water to encourage him to stop. He got a bum smack and a time out (10 sec).

So this morning when he got up and went into the kitchen to feed Buddy he went straight to the bowls. He looked sternly at the water bowl. "No! no!" he scolded, wagging his finger. Then he looked at the empty food bowl. "No! no!" he continued wagging his finger. He then got to scolding both of them at the same time, finger furiously waving. I had to drag him over to the food container to get Buddy's breakfast going.

Later, every time we walked through the kitchen he would stop briefly to scold the bowls. "No! no!"
Fingers wagging.

This evening when Billy fed Buddy he missed getting all of the food in the bowl, as usual. Except this time many of the pieces went for a swim in the dog water. "Uh, oh!" Billy quickly reached to fetch them out, but I stopped him. Just then Daddy got between me and Billy so he could talk to me. Billy was suddenly out of my view and right by the bowls. I knew immediately what would happen.

"Daddy, please get your son out of the dog water."

"Huh, what?" Sometimes Daddy is oblivious to these little things. But when he turned around there Billy was trying to fish dog food out of the bowl. To be fair, he was trying to be nice to Buddy. But I had asked Billy to leave it alone twice by this point and he knows not to touch the dog water. So Daddy repeated the punishment of the previous night.

After a quick time out and a few minutes of tears while I held him (out of frustration for not getting his way) I took him back into the kitchen for dinner. He went straight over to the bowls and gave them a thorough punishing and finger wagging. Then he looked up at me.

If he had had the vocabulary to say what his eyes were expressing, he would have said, "but Mommy, the dog bowls made me do it!"

February 2, 2012 ~ Billy's First Chore

That's right. Starting yesterday we gave Billy his first chore. He was so excited when we told him. "Billy, go feed the dog his breakfast." That was followed by a blur of toddler wrapped in a hooded pooh towel barreling towards the kitchen screaming, "ah ah ah ah!" (translation: yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!)

He is now required to feed Buddy both breakfast and dinner, with a little help of course. Here's how it has gone both days with both meals:

"Billy, please feed Buddy."

Billy ecstatically opens the dog food container and picks up the scooper (a plastic mug). Then he bangs the mug against the dog food. When the dog food refuses to jump into the mug of its own volition Billy turns to me inquiringly.

"Here, let me help you."

I make him hold the mug while I help scoop dog food up and fill it to the brim.

"Billy, go put it in the bowl, please."

Billy carries the mug towards Buddy's bowl, a mere three feet, and manages to spill at least a third of the contents. This is when Buddy the Vacuum jumps in and scarfs down every morsel dancing across the kitchen floor.

"Uh, oh," Billy says.

"It's ok. Go put the food in the dog bowl, please."

Billy crouches down and shakes the mug over the bowl. Some of the pieces make it into the bowl and about the same amount join their already escaped friends on the floor. Then Billy stands up with the mug still half full and heads back to the container.

"No, honey. Put all of it in the dog bowl, please."

He goes back over to the bowl, crouches, and shakes the mug again. Then he remembers to tip the mug so the contents fall out. Some make it into the bowl, about the same amount unite with the remainder of their freed brethren on the floor. Buddy continues to hunt down each and every piece.

"Billy, help pick up the pieces that fell out, please."

Billy pushes Buddy away from the dog bowl and picks up the pieces one at a time and put them in the bowl. By this time Buddy is doing something akin to the "pee dance" trying to get to his food. Once Billy gets every last piece into the bowl he then feels that the dog food needs to be leveled out and goes about doing so with his hands. Once it is leveled it then requires mixing, so he picks up a handful and then puts it back in and levels again. Rinse. Repeat.

"Ok, that's enough. Please go put the mug back in the container and close the lid."

Billy jumps up, completely forgetting the bowl and runs over to the container, sticks the mug in and closes the lid.

"Can you lock it please?" It has a locking handle to make it air tight.

He locks it, then unlocks it. Then he pops the lid open and goes for the mug again.

"No, no. One meal is enough. Thanks!"

Billy looks disheartened for a split second and then tears off into the den to get a toy.

Drawn In Thursdays: Binky Wars, Episode 4

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New Postings ~ Moving Forward

Previously I have posted a Billy post daily plus additional posts, including the Drawn In comics.

In order to provide you with better content I am going to alter how this is done. There will still be a post every day but you will see some differences.

Drawn In Thursdays. These will become the only posts for Thursday viewing. I will not be posting a Billy post regarding Wednesdays from now on. If he does something exceptionally cute, I will be sure to mention it in the post that I write Thursday night.

The Sunday Post. This will be a new group of posts that may relate to Billy but won't be about his daily activities. It could be about anything Mommy or baby related.

I hope you like my blog and I hope the changes that I make will better the content on this site.

Thanks for reading!

January 31, 2012 ~ Outside Pressure In Mommyhood

If you compare my recent posts with those from back in 2011 you might notice that the posts from the fall were more humorous and light hearted. I suppose you could blame this on the winter blues, but the truth is that when you have external pressures it affects every aspect of your life from blogging to raising a Billy.

A few weeks ago I had a major crisis happen in both my work life and professional life- on the same day and only two hours apart. At work, I wasn't the originator of the crisis but I was the one to discover the problem and am a major participant in the resolution. It's akin to a novice climber with all of the right gear and all of the right knowledge standing at the base of a mountain. I still have to climb the mountain. In my personal life I can't control what's going on and at this point just have to ride out the crisis as best I can. Unfortunately, the subsequent shockwaves from each event have hit on the same days. I'm sorry but I don't feel an open web forum is the appropriate place to discuss what's going on, so I'm not going to provide further detail. I'll only say that I'll pull through somehow.

Having all of these external pressures in both my personal life and work life means no escape and is affecting my parenting and the other aspects of my life. I am at wits end and it shows with Billy. I don't have the patience to tolerate his general whining and toddler tantrums and am short with him. Having him go through another course of major teething while the crises are occurring was a very difficult time.

I don't think I realized how much my stress level was affecting Billy until today. He's a happy baby and loves to laugh. I had him in stitches today over dinner. And he laughed yesterday. But it's been awhile since peals of laughter and happiness have rung through the house. I miss those pleasant noises.

The reason I started this blog was to keep track of and share the silly and absurd things that happen raising a child. I promise to try harder to again capture that sense of the silly and the absurd. Bear with me as I try and pull all of the pieces of my life back together.

January 30, 2012 ~ Over Under Sockscapade

Today while Billy was running around playing his socks fell off. He grabbed his socks and hid between the sofa and the coffee table. I guess he didn't want Mommy's help because he started trying to get his socks on his feet in his little hiding spot. I watched through the legs of the coffee table as he attempted to slap his socks onto his feet. Then he tried rubbing them on.

Before he got frustrated about the socks he realized he had an audience. I was looking at him under the coffee table. So he looked up over the coffee table. Then I looked at him over the coffee table. Then he looked at me under the coffee table. And I looked at him under the coffee table. He thought this was just too funny and laughed and laughed. It went on for more than ten minutes.

It ended when the tickle monster went after his bare foot. He jerked it away and then stuck it right back in my hand to tickle again. I got him in stitches before he crawled out to give me a big hug.

January 29, 2012 ~ Sofas, Balls and Embankments

Yesterday, my Uncle came to get the sofa so we pulled ours out of storage. Our sofa is 25% bigger than the one that had been in our den, so we had to totally rearrange the room. Billy is not a fan.

The coffee table and his stools are in opposite locations. He's used to looking at the tv and gripping with his left. But when he did that today he fell over because the tv is now on his right. He did it twice before he gave up. The ottoman is over by an end table in the same location where the old sofa had been and he decided he'd rather be over there. I guess it's more comfortable.

It's also a different style of sofa. The old one had a hard back. He used to peer over the back of the sofa for fun. But the new sofa has a low back with lots of pillows. So when Billy tried to lean against the back he nearly tumbled on his head. He did that twice before he gave up.

And his play area is a completely different configuration too. I he took all of his toys out of the play area and over to the wood floor, where the configuration is still the same. He would not play on the carpet where he used to.

It's ok. He'll figure it out. But it's new and strange and he's just not used to it.

He had a good day though. He played with lots of bouncing balls on the wood floor. He even threw Buddy's ball for him several times. And, of course, every time he threw a ball he had to shout "baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaal". It's very similar to Pro Soccer "Goooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaal." Just like that.

Billy also got a Daddy day. After his nap Daddy took Billy to the NCR trail with his tricycle for a walk. Billy sent Daddy on a wild adventure when Billy chucked a toy down an embankment along the river. Then Daddy took him to the diner for dinner. They got home just in time for bed.

It was my official day off, although you wouldn't be able to tell. I did four loads of laundry, packed for our move, cleaned, etc. The whole day was spent doing chores. I did break briefly to look at the internet, but a Mommy's job is never done, even if she is on break.

January 28, 2012 ~ Poo On a Shoe (the Buddy story)

Billy had a good day today getting to see lots of family and being a little imp. But today I want to talk about Billy's best friend, Buddy.

When Grandpop was over this evening Buddy pooed on Grandpop's shoe. There was blood. We'll be going to the doctor first thing Monday, since he is acting normal now. He responds this way whenever there is a change in his environment and there was a big change today (furniture went to new homes).

Even though Buddy is now 11, we haven't had him that long. He was Daddy's mother's dog. When God called her away, we took Buddy in and gave him a home. That was before Daddy and I were married, but we were engaged. Buddy joined us living at Grandma's house.

When we first got Buddy he was a walking ottoman. No really. He'd grown fat stealing food from his hetero-housemate Tigger the Cat. Tigger went to live with another relative. But when we got Buddy he was very fat, morbidly obese by veterinary standards and in an unhealthy condition. The first thing we did was switch him to diet food and moderate his eating habits.

Buddy soon became our baby. For Halloween we bought him a costume. At Christmas he had a Christmas sweater. We bought him tons of toys, took him for walks and made him a big part of our life. I groomed him twice weekly and spent a fortune getting him professionally groomed. Then came the wedding.

It started as a joke and blossomed into a reality. We didn't plan on a ring bearer. The pillow was a leftover from work and we jokingly let Buddy carry it around the house to practice. Practice makes perfect, after all.

The fact is that Buddy has been an integral part of our lives. We love him and even though Billy gets priority, Buddy is still always in our minds. For Christmas Buddy went to Grandma's house to visit while we went to see family. Didn't want him alone on Christmas.

But unfortunately, he's old and he's sick. It's not just today. We know he's sick. He has a terminal liver disease and has already exceeded his life expectancy. We love him so dearly and it's hard to imagine life without dog. I know it exists, I just don't see how. How will Billy cope without Budbud? Every morning who does he want to see? Budbud.

So, I hope this is just a glitch and that Buddy will stick around for awhile. He is our second son, even if he is the neglected child.

January 27, 2012 ~ Sniffing Socks

Don't ask me why, but every day Billy has to inspect the socks that go on his feet. It's a morning ritual. I put him in the big brown chair or I choose to put them on him when he's trapped in his high chair. Either way, he has to inspect them before they go on his feet.

First he takes the folded socks and checks them out. Ok, then he hands them back to me to separate. I try to put one on his foot, but he has to hold it first. He looks at it. Then he sniffs it, an affront to my laundry abilities I'm sure. I promise, I have properly laundered all of his socks. But he will sniff them anyway.

Then he lays the sock over his foot as though it will magically jump on. Perhaps he should try some soap, like Peter Pan did when trying to attach his shadow. But no. If he lays the sock on his foot, then it has been approved for Mommy to put the sock on. The the sock is unapproved, then he will try to rip the sock off as soon as I put it on.

Once we've got socks, then we repeat the same procedure with the shoes. Except, he doesn't sniff his shoes. I guess socks get approved via the sniff test.

January 26, 2012 ~ 8 Grapes

The question? How many grapes can Billy shove in his mouth at one time?

The answer? 8 grapes.

I would have taken a picture of this very funny scene with Billy's cheeks stuffed like a chipmunk's, but I was too concerned about choking at the time. Despite the overwhelming amount of food in his mouth, he refused to spit it out. Instead, he struggled to prove that he could eat it all.

This is his new thing. If I give him Cheerios he cries when there aren't enough on his plate. There need to be enough for him to put an entire handful in his mouth. Same with sandwiches, plums, bananas, etc. He will put the entire thing in his mouth and then struggle to chew. It's a game.

So if you were wondering how many grapes can fit in a toddler's mouth without choking... 8 grapes.

Drawn In Thursdays: Hygiene Enforcer #1

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January 25, 2012 ~ Spider Billy (like Spider Pig but cuter)

I was very late getting home from work so I didn't get to spend much time with Billy today. I came in on the tail end of dinner and he was already a cranky baby, tired from yesterday's tropical foray. There was only time for bath and then bed.

For awhile now Billy has been sticking his mouth and the tip of his nose into the bath water for fun. He knows how to hold his breath, although sometimes he tries to drink the water too. Today, he decided to escalate his daring bath antics. He dunked his whole head and came up laughing. I think someone is ready for the swimming pool again.

After bath Daddy tried to teach Billy about streaking. But it's cold out and Billy wanted some pants.

The long hunt for winter sleepwear in Billy's size has come to a close and he got to try out his new jammies today. What little boy wouldn't love Spiderman pjs?

I think they really show off his big Billy belly. In fact, when I asked him where his Billy belly was, he pulled up his shirt and pointed to his belly button. "Bill bell!" he giggled.

January 23, 2012 ~ A Tropical Playground

Tonight after daycare we went out with a friend for dinner to Bahama Breeze. Unfortunately, by the time we got there it was past seven and Billy was tired. He was not in a good mood.

We ordered him a nice meal but all he wanted was fruit. In truth, I don't think he was hungry at all, because it was well past his mealtime and into the range of bedtime. It's hard to go out after work. We're limited by the time we get home and his short amount of time before bed. If we are off by even 15 minutes it can be enough to produce a cranky toddler.

Well, he was not a happy camper. I walked him all over the restaurant. He would not sit still at the table. But the giant palms and the tiki lights and ceiling fans were a big hit. So much more entertaining than letting Mommy eat her dinner.

Of particular favorite was a section of the restaurant not in use today. If you've ever been there it's a huge place. But on a cold Tuesday night there weren't enough patrons to warrant having the side section open. Billy thought this area was a great playground. It was very warm and full of fun decorations. It even has a raised fit pit which he thought was too cool. Best of all, there are many levels that are only two steps up and also have handicap ramps. These make for a great place to run around, especially when there are no patrons to bother. He had the best time playing there.

But when I took him back to the table it was screaming again. So I spent most of the night chasing Billy through the empty rooms of the restaurant and showing him the neat tropical things they have there.

It seemed to work out. Billy fell asleep on the car ride home and no fuss about bed. All I can say is, thank God for the empty sections. I don't know how you're supposed to go out with a grumpy toddler.

January 23, 2012 ~ Rock-a-bye Billy

Billy is a baby that likes to sleep. Normally, I don't have any trouble getting him to go to bed for a nap or for the night. He's tired, he goes straight down. But this past week has been another story altogether.

This past week he stands up in his crib and screams at the top of his lungs, voice cracking, heart-wrenching endless crying. For some reason he just refuses to sleep. Some of the blame has to go to those evil teeth that are plaguing him right now, but something else is obviously going on.

It's not as though Billy never throws a tantrum about going to bed. Sometimes he won't want to go to sleep and I will find all of his stuffed animals and blankets on the floor, binkies too and him crying in his crib. This is the attention getting technique.

But now Billy knows when I pour the milk into his sippy what is coming and starts to whimper. Then when I pick him up he starts screaming. I can rock him and get him to lay down, but as soon as I leave the room he stands up and starts screaming. It's not the normal crying. This past week has been a new level of anxiety in his voice.

I've heard that the human brain has a physical reaction to babies crying. Probably a throwback to when those cries could mean being eaten by a sabertooth. I can feel my stress level shoot through the roof. I just want to get him to quiet down. It's hard when the best thing for him is sleep and he refuses to.

Yesterday we had to let him cry it out. I hate CIO. He went on for more than a half hour before I binkied him up for the bazillionth time and he finally settled down. Today he was on track to do it again. Daddy's method is to just turn off the monitor and let him cry himself to sleep. I just can't take it. So after 20 minutes I had to go back in and get him.

What he wanted was to be fully rocked to sleep, with singing (God help him). But I rocked, shushed and sang just like when he was a teeny little guy. He clung to me and smiled as he drifted off. I would much rather rock him for 20 minutes than listen to him cry during that time. He fell asleep in my arms and no tears when I put him down. So much less painful than CIO for everyone.

January 22, 2012 ~ When Dogs Attack

This day has gone to the dogs... and it hasn't gone well.

First, there's the Ravens. This morning I taught Billy the Ravens' fight song, "Who Let The Dogs Out?" He liked the part where he got to sing, "who, who, who?" He chanted it over and over. But those dogs got leashed thanks to a crap kick.

In truth we didn't watch much of the game. We had some other dogs to deal with.

That's right. Billy was attacked by four mean canines. Don't worry, I'm not talking about canines like Buddy. These would be those four sharp teeth, all of which he cut this morning.

Cutting a tooth is an excruciating process. We're lucky that childhood amnesia prevents us adults from remembering the pain. Now, imagine that times four. Now you probably have an idea of his mood today.

He hurt so much that he couldn't even sleep during his nap, so basically skipped sleeping. That produced an even crankier baby than the morning brought.

Additionally, after the failed nap I noticed that he has hives.Yes, still has them. He didn't receive any food today that should be an allergen, so that left me with three other sources. First, a topical allergy. Second, a virus (he gets hives when he gets super sick with a fever- usually a day or two before). Third, that getting four teeth in 12 hours caused the hives.

In order to deal with the issue I first made sure that the rest of his meals for the day were simple foods that I was sure he had no allergy to. Then, after eating one of those meals, I bathed him and changed all of his clothes and diaper to ensure that those items were not the issue.

We don't know but we think Buddy might be the culprit. He had a hair appointment yesterday and came home smelling sweet and covered in canine chemicals. It's possible that Billy might be reacting to Buddy's hair products.

Dogs really did attack today.

It wasn't all bad, though. We had a real conversation today. He pointed to the chandelier and said, "I see that!" I told him its name. "What's that?" he asked. So I showed him how it worked and he was amazed, giggled and continued to jabber away in undecipherable words. But he's started to speak in short sentences and that's pretty cool.

January 21, 2012 ~ First Snowy Day ('12)

While Billy has seen snow before, he has no memory of it. For us adults, it's just more snow, albeit the first snowfall of the winter. For Billy, it's the first ever that he remembers. Only in photos will he be able to look back at those days.

This was taken exactly one year ago. Billy is so small he is not able to stand yet, or to sit without assistance. It's amazing what a year can mean in a life. Now he's walking talking. And on a different note, this photo shows my favorite coat which has since been ruined (thanks Buddy.)

So this morning when Billy woke up I took him straight to the window to see the white stuff all over the ground. He just stared and pointed, "oh, look!"

He finally got to try out his first snow suit and snow boots today. Daddy suited him up and took him out to shovel the drive. He ran around for awhile and then decided he wanted to help Daddy by using a broom. It was lying in the snow by the drive. He got down on the ground to pick it up, but realized the ground was so cold that he immediately started crying.

I walked him around outside for awhile, but that whole cold ting was just too scary for him. He'd had enough of his world being turned upside down freezing white. He did not like the snow.

Later I took him out again. He wasn't so sure, but I dragged him out. I showed him how to smash bits of ice on the drive, how to climb to the top of a snow pile (and be king of the pile) and how to jump and splash in the slush. Ooooooooooh. Now he gets it! A new toy. Snow is one giant big toy outside.

Unfortunately for Billy, when he wakes up the snow should be all gone. That's the way snow is around here. It comes; it goes. Then it will dump 4 feet in two weeks and stay around until April.

And in all likelihood, he won't remember the snowy fun when he was one. But I have the pictures to prove it.