Drawn In Thursdays: Boy's Best Friend #3

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All Drawn In Thursdays are based on true events.

March 1, 2012 ~ The Language Leap

Today Billy took some major strides in language.

This morning he called Tigger by name. I didn't even know that he knew Tigger's name. But he said, "Mommy, Tig!" and pointed at the fluffy little orange thing.

Then, getting out of the car he pointed and said, "Choo! Choo!" The train was zooming past. I've heard him say this before, but always prompted.

After dinner he walked over to the counter, pointed up, and made the hand sign for "more." I have been trying to teach him this but have never seen him actually do it.

I can't explain, but today he made a mental leap. He is picking up more vocabulary words and making connections between one object and another. It might seem small, but the jump between prompting and verbalizing without prompting is a big leap in my mind.

Of course, I can't prove any of this. If I prompt him to say something in front of others he shuts up like a clam. No, really...I swear. He talks, he talks!

January 28, 2012 ~ What Are We Doing Tonight, Brain?

Billy is on his way to taking over the world.

This morning of his on volition he climbed up into the desk chair. Climbed up by himself, a feat only accomplished in that past two days. The swinging and twirling of the desk chair make it difficult to climb into.

Anyway, he wanted to play on the computer. He started pressing buttons until he was opening windows and typing things into them. He didn't know what he was doing, but to the untrained observer he looked like a computer genius. He was able to pull up the "Find" window and search through files using keywords. He even got himself into the program files.

And by himself, I mean that I provided no assistance at all. He even figured out how to maneuver the mouse by himself and use it to open things. Don't believe me?

He's so proud of himself. Yep. He's my little computer genius.

"So, what are we doing tonight, Brain?"
"The same thing we do every night, Pinky. Try to take over the world!"
(Don't get the reference? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Animaniacs)

Oh, yeah. And it's kind of a big day... we bought a house. WE BOUGHT A HOUSE!

February 27, 2012 ~ The Potato Strikes Again!

If you are a personal friend of mine then you have probably heard the tale of the Golden Potato...you may have even seen the Golden Potato. If you have no idea what I'm talking about then let me summarize: Daddy+potato+alcohol+2008=HILARITY.

Anyway, yesterday Billy decided he wanted to play with a potato. I couldn't get him to leave it alone. It was a little white potato. Well, he decided it was a ball. He bounced it. He rolled it. He tried to get Buddy to play fetch with it. Yep. Potatoes are like balls.

Well, I've been trying to teach Billy to clean up his toys. Most of the time he puts his toys in the right bin and then refuses to let go and pulls them right back out and continues to play. It's a work in progress.

So, today, when I went to fry up that little white potato for Billy to eat tomorrow, do you know what I found? A tennis ball. Buddy's tennis ball. In the potato bin. Apparently, if a potato is like a ball, then a ball belongs with the potatoes. Yes, a Buddy toy full of slobber in with my food. Ooh, yum!




And now for your daily moment of cute...

Buddy got in trouble today for eating half of Billy's cracker right out of his hand. Billy was telling me a tale in toddlerspeak and not watching his cracker-filled hand. Buddy waited patiently for the moment to strike. Billy looked up in abject horror as half of his cracker vanished down the gullet of the cuddly beast. Then he went right back to babbling incessantly.

Buddy got some serious punishment for taking food from a baby.

After a few minutes I thought it was high time for Buddy to be forgiven.

"Billy, go tell Buddy that you love him. Go on," I pushed. I wasn't expecting anything to happen.

But just then, cuteness occurred. For weeks now, Billy has a new habit. If you ask him for a kiss, he will stick out his neck and present his cheek- aka, 'you may give me a kiss, my loyal subject'. It's very cute and quite humorous. Well, he walked over to Buddy and presented his cheek. Buddy's response? He walked away. So, Billy followed him and continued to present his cheek. Buddy relented and was treated to having Billy gently rub his cheek all over Buddy's cheek and Buddy's side.

Don't ever doubt. They are BFFs.

February 26, 2012 ~ 3 Parenting Fails and a Parenting Wail

One Sunday, three FAILS.

1. Billy is learning his food words. Every meal he points to each item on his plate and I tell him what it is. Then he repeats the word for me the best that he can. This morning he had Cheerios, apples, bread and milk. He repeated each one. But five minutes later he picked up the soda bread and said (in perfect English with perfect pronunciation) "apple". No, "bread." Then at dinner he had some regular bread. He picked it up, showed it to Daddy and said (in perfect English with perfect pronunciation)"apple!" FAIL.

2. While playing with his toys he picked up his football and shoved it in his mouth. It was really cute until he put it down, walked over to a Buddy ball and shoved that in his mouth. We're still working on separation of toys...apparently, not very well. FAIL.

3. Billy was playing with something he knew he wasn't supposed to pick up because it was too heavy/dangerous/notmadeforbabies. He suddenly dropped it, possibly on his foot, and yelled (in perfect English with perfect pronunciation) "f*ck!" FAIL.

And a parenting wail...

This evening I decided to take a shower to have a fifteen minute break after a long day with my Crankypants (teething again, argh!). I climbed in to the nice steamy water for my relaxing break for the day. Just then, I heard the patter, patter, patter of little feet. Billy came bounding into the bathroom, followed by Daddy, followed by Buddy. Billy started slapping the glass, so I played our tapping game with him (I tap with my hand and leave it there and then he repeats). Then I kindly asked Daddy to make everyone leave so I could have some privacy. A minute later I heard the patter, patter, patter of little feet.

"Honey, he only wants Mommy, so we're going to play in the bathroom."

There I am, just trying to shampoo my hair like any normal woman with a Daddy and a baby and a dog there for company. Then I see Billy waving his binky over the open toilet. Dear God, please don't let him drop his binky in the toilet! But, I was saved by poop! Yes, Billy decided just then to let fly and Daddy had to rush him out for a diaper change. Phew! The binky was saved, I knew I had 5 minutes to myself and Daddy got stuck with a stinkeroo. But, of course, as soon as he had a new diaper, I had an audience again.

And that was my nice, relaxing, 15 minute time to myself. Yup.

The Sunday Post- Sing About Poo

Today I'll just leave you with Billy's two favorite diaper changing songs:

I'm a Stinky Baby
(I'm A Little Teapot)

I'm a stinky baby
yes I am
better change me fast as you can
better change me quick as can be
'cause I pooped and I'm stinky


Super Pooper
(Abba's Super Trooper)

Super pooper
wipes are going to find me
but I won't be blue
it's not the thing to do
'cause in my diaper there is poo

February 24, 2012 ~ Drink Your Peas

At dinner Billy had peas and some other things but he didn't want to eat any of it. Nope. Forget it. Instead he started screaming for my glass of water.

"Mommy, meh! Meh!" pointing wildly at the water.

Ok, ok, I gave him the water. But it was immediately obvious that the glass was in serious danger of losing its life. So, I got a plastic mug out of the cabinet and filled it with water. Oh, boy. That mug could have been made of gold.

First he spilled water all down his front. Then he drank from it. But let's not stop there.

All good food and drink must inevitably become a science experiment. Why eat your peas when you can drink them? He started throwing peas into his water and tried to drink it. Then he screamed when I took the cup away and replaced it with pea-free water.

Clearly, he wanted his pea water.

February 21, 2012 ~ Adventures In Grandpop Babysitting

Tonight was another late night for me at work so Grandpop volunteered to babysit. I got everything ready for him. I wrote a list with the schedule on the board. I prepared enough healthy food for the Russian army for both he and Billy. I had everything for bedtime laid out and ready. Grandpop only had to watch Billy for an hour before bedtime, so I expected it to go easily.

How did it go?

~ Grandpop was initiated with an Epic Poo.

~ Cheese and crackers appear to be the main course from dinner...

~ Billy went to bed over an hour past his bedtime.

But the gentlemen had fun together despite having to pry Billy from me on the way out the door. I guess every kid deserves a little spoiling from their grandpop.

February 19, 2012 ~ Going Strawberry Blonde

Mealtime is always an adventure for a toddler- new tastes, new textures... what's not to love? Well, yesterday for lunch Billy decided it was high time to experiment with his food.

What to do with a PB&J? An adult would probably just eat his sandwich and go away contented with lunch. Not Billy. First, he pulled the sandwich apart to examine the innards. Next, he investigated the properties of peanut butter by getting a big dollop of it on each pointer finger and holding those fingers up in front of his face for a good look. Now, I bet you're expecting him to lick the PB from his fingers and say, "yum, yum!" But where's the fun in that? He looked hard at those fingers covered in peanutty goo and then shoved them in his ears. Ha! Bet you weren't expecting that! What? You didn't hear what I said? Maybe it's because you've got peanut butter in your ears.

Also for lunch he had strawberries. Billy loves strawberries. But in the spirit of science he couldn't just eat the strawberries. No, not Billy. He decided that he wanted to change his hair color by rubbing the strawberries all through his hair. Brings new meaning to "strawberry blonde".

Today was an epic blueberry day. Billy ate two bowls full of blueberries. He also learned how to say blueberry. "BooBah!" Since he learned to say "boobah" it's all he wants to eat. I made him stop after a reasonable number. But, come to find out that Daddy also gave him blueberry yogurt. I came home to find him, the highchair, the floor and his clothes covered in blueberry yogurt.

Note to self: limit blueberry intake. blue bum. That's all I'll say.

So let's review the weekend: a bum stained blue, hair dyed strawberry, and peanut butter in the ears.

February 17, 2012 ~ Baptism: A Look Back

This weekend marks the one year anniversary of Billy joining the Church.

This is, by far, my favorite picture of Billy. Daddy is not a fan: he thinks the white baptism outfit is weird. But I love the little bonnet and the expression is priceless to me. The humorous thing about this photo is that he was actually crying at the time.

He wasn't so thrilled about this photo shoot we did a few days after the big event. We managed to get some really cute photos inbetween the tears, though.

These photos represent the beginning of (hopefully) a very long journey with religion and the Church. But a year out, he has had very little exposure. Daddy and I used to go often, but attending Mass with a toddler is just out of the question. He can't sit still or quiet for an hour and our Church doesn't have a kids' room. I have NO idea how parents manage to take their kids. We gave up. We went to Christmas Mass and Daddy and I took turns walking him around the VERY crowded Church to keep him quiet. I never leave before the priest exits the altar, but with Billy in tow we actually had to leave before that. Billy simply would not tolerate being in Church longer.

Some day I hope to take him to Church, but it's just not going to happen at this age. We tried a couple of times, but it's not worth the effort. Daddy and I don't get the experience we want out of it, and Billy doesn't understand what's going on.

Well at least he's baptized, right?

February 16, 2012 ~ The Birds

This morning on our way out to work and daycare a peculiar sight stopped us in our tracks. Out on the lawn were hundreds of blackbirds and over twenty robins. It was quite a sight to behold. They were making a racket and I had several thoughts about Alfred Hitchcock while we stood in the driveway admiring this awesome sight.

"Kock, Kock!" Billy pointed, meaning "quack, quack".

He knew enough to compare his toy ducks to other birds and to know what noise a duck makes, and therefore, these birds.

"No. Those are Robin Redbreasts. They say chirp, chirp."

"RaRa... chi chi?" He asked.

"Yes, that's right." Well, pretty close anyway.

"Ooh. Duck. Kock, kock!"

And we're back to the ducks.

He found them so interesting that he ran at the lot of them on the lawn, causing hundreds of birds to take to the air and landing in the trees, sending up a cacophony of alarm. He just stood there and pointed up at the trees.

I don't know what inspired all of those birds to be out on the lawn this morning. All I know is that they inspired my son to "chi, chi" the whole way to daycare.

February 14, 2012 ~ The New Shoe Jig

Billy has finally outgrown his old shoes. This morning I broke out the new pair I bought him for Christmas that have been waiting in the closet for the inevitable growth spurt. It was love at first sight. He put them on and danced around the whole morning in his new shoes. Little stutter steps and lots of spinning around. It looked like a jig as he tested his new shoes.

Today also came with the Crayon Incident. The paper came off of the green crayon. This was an absolute tragedy. I tried to get him to color with the paperless crayon, but it was a No Go. Finally, I got the paper back on to the crayon and the world was right again. I never thought I'd see tears shed over the crayon wrapper.

For dinner I decided to treat him to dessert. As soon as I pulled out the cake that was the end of dinner. He saw that cake and that was all he was going to eat. He sucked every last sugar crystal from the fork like it was pure gold. Well, it is a pretty tasty treat- key lime cheesecake from the cheesecake factory. Yum. Even Billy was saying, "nom, nom, nom!"

So in honor of the holiday Billy would like to send you this very special valentine.

Happy Valentine's Day, toddler style.

February 13, 2012 ~ Attack Robot!

After daycare I took Billy over to Grandma's for a visit. Usually he doesn't visit with her in the den, but she was sitting down there so we joined her. The first thing he noticed at the bottom of the steps was Roomba, her vacuum robot. He was very curious about it so I brought it in to the den with us.

I sat Roomba in the middle of the room and turned him on. He made his little beeps and bleeps and then began his spiral vacuum pattern. Immediately, Billy was afraid. He grabbed my pants and hid behind me. I demonstrated that Roomba is harmless and walked in front of it. Roomba gently tapped into my foot and rotated, then tapped again and again until it found a clear path away from my feet. But Billy still wasn't sure so I turned Roomba off and then sat down next to it.

Billy ran over and pointed to Roomba. The On/Off button was still lit up and called to him. He bent over and pressed it with gusto. Then Roomba sprang to life with his beeps and bleeps and took off sweeping. Billy leaped from the floor at the speed of light. He fell and propelled himself at the same time into my arms. While Roomba merrily vacuumed along, Billy clung to me for dear life and wouldn't let go until he was sure that Roomba was off for good.

You would think that vacuums would be a Hygiene Enforcer's best friend. But no, they are mortal enemies. Or rather, Roomba chugs along unawares while Billy runs screaming from it.

February 12, 2012 ~ First Haircut

That's right. Today Billy got his first haircut. It wasn't at a shop. It was in the kitchen and the barber was me. I sat down in the chair and put him on my lap. I trimmed off the curls in the back so now he truly has short hair. But I was too scared to go after his bangs and around his ears. One, he's squirmy and I'm terrified of nicking him. Two, I'm terrified that I will cut it wrong and he will be stuck with a bad haircut courtesy of Mommy until if grows out. But it looks much better.

As of this weekend Billy also has a new trick. Zerbert!

Imagine this and pardon the TMI. I wasn't feeling so hot and was having some quality time with the throne. At that most inopportune time Billy, who was hanging out in the throne room with me, decided to have a new trick. He walked over to my bare knee and... Zerbert! Not once, not twice, but three times I got raspberries while trapped. He's so proud of himself.

Later, he demonstrated to Grandma how he can attack hug me and zerbert any bare skin he can find. He crawled up under my big sweater (it's a wrap style but I didn't have the belt on). He figured out how to get my shirt up enough to zerbert my back. Lots of giggles. He was so proud of himself for knowing how to zerbert Mommy.

This weekend Billy also got to see our new home for the first time and got to help Daddy start packing up our stuff to move. It's a daunting task, and Billy's not so sure about the whole process, but it will be a grand adventure. But that's a story for another day!

The Sunday Post- Spanking

A big discussion that came up this week on another blog I follow was about spanking. Yes or no?

It seemed that parents are divided and heated about their positions on spanking. Studies show that spanking does long term emotional harm to children.

But I think that the definition of spanking isn't clearly defined enough to prove or disprove anything. There's "spanking" that involves belts and bare bottoms and then there's spanking that uses light raps on the bottom, sometimes clothed. Are these in the same category? Do they cause the same kind of damage? There is a whole spectrum of spanking. It's a hot button topic and open for debate.

I'm not a big fan of spanking. And depending on the child there are much better punishment methods out there. But Daddy and I do sometimes have to use light raps to cull the bad behavior. What do we mean? We never, ever bend Billy over the knee with bare bottom. Nope. Too far for us. If he is really bad- having been told "no" three times and been in time out and still continues the dangerous behavior- then he gets a rap. I usually call it a bum smack. Three taps on the rear in the diaper and fully clothed, nothing stronger than a pat on the back. In every instance it has curbed his behavior. And we follow up with making him apologize and getting a hug. This is a specific practice for a toddler too young to listen to words, too young to understand time out and too young to know not to run in front of a car.

Discipline is very important to us and we work on it every day. It's a constant struggle and we are always instructing Billy on what is right and wrong for his health, safety and social welfare. We work hard enough on it that getting a rap on the bum is something very rare around here. He knows better because we teach him daily. And he reinforces that knowledge by walking around and telling me what he knows is a NoNo.

So how do you feel on the issue? To spank or not to spank?

February 10, 2012 ~ Old Dog, New Tricks

This morning Billy learned a new NoNo. He was following Buddy around and finally got him cornered. Then he grabbed Buddy's short, little tail and hung on for dear life, laughing hysterically. Well, docked doggy tails are pretty funny. But Buddy's not to fond of a 25lb weight hanging off of his tail.

"Billy!" I said forcefully, "no, no!"

Right on cue Billy let go. Oh, NoNo? So now we have a new game. Billy chases Buddy's bum around the room giggling "NoNo!" Just in case you were wondering, Buddy's bum is off limits.

This evening Billy continued to harass Buddy, but I made Billy apologize and give Buddy a big hug. Billy just wants to be best buds. Sorry for the pun, but it's true. Billy threw Buddy's ball for him, all 4 feet that Billy can muster. Billy shared his snack with Buddy. And Billy tried to pet him on his back gently- well, gently for a toddler, anyway.

Dogs are a very interesting thing to Billy and he wants to know more about them. He sat in my lap while Buddy showed off his repertoire of tricks. Billy even got to shake Buddy's hand on command. I asked Buddy to talk and then taught Billy to talk back to Buddy. Buddy would do his high-pitched trick bark (the one that gets him treats) and Billy would say "oo, oo!" right back at him in a high-pitched voice. OoOo, like "woof, woof" for someone that can't say w's or f's.

Yep. I taught my son some new tricks for playing with our old dog.

February 9, 2012 ~ The Wagging Billy Finger

Billy will be happy to walk you around the house wagging his finger and letting you know what is a "no, no!" He walks into a room and immediately goes over to the NoNo and wags his finger at it, letting me know that he knows it's a NoNo. Care to walk around the house?

The Den:
Radiator: "NoNo. Hot!" Finger wags.
Wall heater: "NoNo." Hands in air. He's not sure why it's a NoNo.
TV: "NoNo." Then he smacks it with his hands and I shout, "No! No!" He laughs.

The Kitchen:
Dog water: "NoNo." Finger wags. Tries to stick a foot in the water anyway.
Oven: "NoNo. Hot!" Not right now, but let's go with it.
Trash: "Ooooh!" What Hygiene Enforcer doesn't love a dirt container? He loves to throw things out.

Our Bedroom:
Outlets: "NoNo." Finger wags.
My alarm clock: "NoNo." Tries to push the buttons anyway and grabs the electrical cord. "Billy, no!"

Bathroom:
Toilet: "NoNo." Then he grabs as much toilet paper as he can before I stop him and throws it into the toilet. "Look!" Yes, yes. That's enough. Save some TP for me! Mommy doesn't wear a diaper!

Wherever we are, Billy will be sure to let me know what is a "NoNo." Then, if he feels like it, he'll do it anyway. It's a toddler prerogative.

February 7, 2012 ~ A Picture of Paw

On a bookshelf in our den I keep an old, faded photo, yellow with time. It is a photo of great importance to me, although I look at it infrequently. It is my parent's wedding photo. They are young, happy, long before the divorce. Standing with them are their parents. They are dressed in all of their finery. To my knowledge it is the only photo with all of them together.

I have taken flack from both of my parents for displaying their wedding photo. But it's not about their defunct marriage. It's about the people. In that photo are all of my parents, grand or otherwise.

Today while playing, Billy went over to look at the digital picture frame that sits next to the old wedding photo. Then he looked at the photo and pointed directly at my maternal grandfather. "Granddad!" he said matter-of-factly.

I have never referred to this man by that name. To me he was simply Paw. I grew up in his house and was as close to him as I am with my parents. This is the benefit of having three generations under one roof. There is a very special bond when the grandparent is around full time. I think of him often. But, honestly, I rarely speak of him now.

I have also never talked to Billy about who is in the photo. Speaking of long gone relatives seems a bit over the head of a one-year-old. We're still working on things like eating with a fork. So, he should have no knowledge of who is in the photo other than by mistake.

Daddy suggested that maybe he thought the man in the photo was Grandpop and he said the wrong name too. I guess this could be so. But Paw is wearing thick-rimmed glasses in the photo and Grandpop doesn't need glasses. Also, the two men look nothing alike, except for the receding hairlines. Perhaps he thinks it is his grandfather (Daddy's dad). At least he wears glasses. But Billy has only met him twice and I doubt would recall him by name.

I will probably never know if it was simply a mistake or if he somehow knows who Paw is. But I would like to think that maybe, just maybe, his namesake is watching over him. I hope so.

February 6, 2012 ~ Early Morning Serenade

First, I would like to report that Billy is doing just fine and still has no symptoms from his fall.

This morning Billy woke up extra early. He was up before me, before Daddy and even before the sun. At least once a week he does this, if not more often. How do I know? He wakes up and starts singing.

Imagine a nice warm bed, all cozy and sleeping soundly. Then, the soft wafting of toddler tune drifting through your bedroom door and waking you up in the darkness before dawn. Sometimes too quiet to hear, sometimes loud, never to a recognizable song nor with a tune you could remotely try to follow. The lyrics are always unitelligible toddler ramble, non-rhyming and repetitive. Sometimes, rarely, his melodic windings will be interjected with an, "oh, no!" or "oh, look!" or "uh, oh!" Sometimes, rarely, giggles and pure laughter will punctuate the songs. Then, when one of our alarms goes off, the happy singing will turn to whining [translation: I can hear you, come get me now].

This morning Billy woke me before my alarm. I turned it off and let him serenade me. He kept singing until I got up to get him, happy as a clam in his crib. What better way to wake up?

February 3, 2012 ~ The Dog Bowl Made Me Do It!

Last night Billy got into trouble for putting the feather duster in the dog water. Daddy has stepped up his punishment for playing in the dog water to encourage him to stop. He got a bum smack and a time out (10 sec).

So this morning when he got up and went into the kitchen to feed Buddy he went straight to the bowls. He looked sternly at the water bowl. "No! no!" he scolded, wagging his finger. Then he looked at the empty food bowl. "No! no!" he continued wagging his finger. He then got to scolding both of them at the same time, finger furiously waving. I had to drag him over to the food container to get Buddy's breakfast going.

Later, every time we walked through the kitchen he would stop briefly to scold the bowls. "No! no!"
Fingers wagging.

This evening when Billy fed Buddy he missed getting all of the food in the bowl, as usual. Except this time many of the pieces went for a swim in the dog water. "Uh, oh!" Billy quickly reached to fetch them out, but I stopped him. Just then Daddy got between me and Billy so he could talk to me. Billy was suddenly out of my view and right by the bowls. I knew immediately what would happen.

"Daddy, please get your son out of the dog water."

"Huh, what?" Sometimes Daddy is oblivious to these little things. But when he turned around there Billy was trying to fish dog food out of the bowl. To be fair, he was trying to be nice to Buddy. But I had asked Billy to leave it alone twice by this point and he knows not to touch the dog water. So Daddy repeated the punishment of the previous night.

After a quick time out and a few minutes of tears while I held him (out of frustration for not getting his way) I took him back into the kitchen for dinner. He went straight over to the bowls and gave them a thorough punishing and finger wagging. Then he looked up at me.

If he had had the vocabulary to say what his eyes were expressing, he would have said, "but Mommy, the dog bowls made me do it!"