March 26, 2012 ~ You Know That Mom in the Grocery Store?

You know that mom in the grocery store?

You know the one. The one with the screeching child who refuses to behave? The one that everyone stares at and asks themselves, "can't she just control her kid?" The one with the look on her face that says she'd rather be having a triple root canal instead of taming toddler tantrums?

Yeah. That was me today.

Every other week I take Billy to the grocery store. So, it's not like this is a new thing. But his behavior today was brand new. Let's go through my quick trip that ended up taking an hour...

Would he sit in the cart? No. Bellowing at the top of his lungs- yep. Ok, so I carry him. We walk into the store and he starts patting his belly, meaning "I'm hungry." Awe. Some. The grocery store is kind of like "water, water everywhere, but not a drop to drink."

Of course, first stop: veggies. He sees tomatoes. "Mommy, apple!" and reaches to get them. Then there's avocados. "Mommy, apple!" and reaches for those. Of course, I'm holding him and he's squirming to get down and get the "apple!" Onions, potatoes, artichokes, peaches and lettuce were also all renamed "apple." He tried to eat the grapes and strawberries when I put them in the cart. And, of course, he wanted the actual apples that I picked up, because he kept saying that he wanted apples. If fruit weren't priced by the pound I probably would have given him one. So then he decided that we needed romaine. Ok, not actually, but it was a good price so I let it stay in the cart. Then he decided that he wanted fresh green beans. He doesn't like green beans. Except today. In the store. Can't have them? Screaming, kicking, wailing on the sticky floor. Oh, yeah. Oh, and the potatoes? He actually tried to eat one raw. Yum!

Then I let him push the cart around to calm him down. He was very upset by the nice lady who had grapes in her cart. She was, apparently, not allowed to buy grapes. At least, according to Billy.

Down, down, down to the dairy aisle. Milk. No problem. Ok, except the twenty-five pound dead weight in my arms. Whatever. On to the yogurt. Can't live without Chobani. It's his must-have. In the words of Billy: uh, oh.

I started adding different flavors to the cart. All of a sudden he grabbed one and clung to it for dear life. "Mine!" I could almost hear him say. He wouldn't let go, but I figured that if it would placate him, who cares if he holds it?

Then it was down the freezer aisle for frozen peas. "Why can't I open the freezer doors?" tantrum. Oh, yeah. On the floor, writhing, wailing. "Gimme, gimme" tantrum right there. So. Friggin. Awesome. Pick up crazy alien monkey baby and haul him off to the mac'n'cheese aisle.

Ooh, the blue box. Oh yeah. He knows that box. "Just behave and I'll make you mac'n'cheese when we get home!" I plead. So, he starts grabbing blue boxes and chucking them into the cart. The more the merrier in his mind, right? He was adding them as fast as I could put them back on the shelves.

And cue the long line at the registers.

I'm back to holding him, which makes unloading the cart and paying a real feat. He still wouldn't let go of the yogurt. Not for his life. That was his. HIS.

So, I somehow get him out of the store, in the car, groceries in the car and the cart to the cart stand. I settle into the driver's seat and breath a sigh of relief. "Phew!" We made it out alive. (Because if the other patrons didn't kill us over the many screaming moments-not all listed here...)

It's then that I hear a weird sucking noise.

Ok. So imagine that you're a toddler. A hungry toddler. And you've been cuddling with a Chobani yogurt for the past half hour. What do you do? Clearly, you sink your teeth into the top of the container, puncturing a hole. And then what? Well, clearly you suck the yogurt out of your new handy, dandy hole in the lid.

And, ok. Have to take that away. OMG. Loss of yogurt brought on a new tirade. I believe I may have heard Billy's entire vocal range in the various screams that propelled us the whole way from the store to home.

So how was your day?

January 23, 2012 ~ A Tropical Playground

Tonight after daycare we went out with a friend for dinner to Bahama Breeze. Unfortunately, by the time we got there it was past seven and Billy was tired. He was not in a good mood.

We ordered him a nice meal but all he wanted was fruit. In truth, I don't think he was hungry at all, because it was well past his mealtime and into the range of bedtime. It's hard to go out after work. We're limited by the time we get home and his short amount of time before bed. If we are off by even 15 minutes it can be enough to produce a cranky toddler.

Well, he was not a happy camper. I walked him all over the restaurant. He would not sit still at the table. But the giant palms and the tiki lights and ceiling fans were a big hit. So much more entertaining than letting Mommy eat her dinner.

Of particular favorite was a section of the restaurant not in use today. If you've ever been there it's a huge place. But on a cold Tuesday night there weren't enough patrons to warrant having the side section open. Billy thought this area was a great playground. It was very warm and full of fun decorations. It even has a raised fit pit which he thought was too cool. Best of all, there are many levels that are only two steps up and also have handicap ramps. These make for a great place to run around, especially when there are no patrons to bother. He had the best time playing there.

But when I took him back to the table it was screaming again. So I spent most of the night chasing Billy through the empty rooms of the restaurant and showing him the neat tropical things they have there.

It seemed to work out. Billy fell asleep on the car ride home and no fuss about bed. All I can say is, thank God for the empty sections. I don't know how you're supposed to go out with a grumpy toddler.

January 23, 2012 ~ Rock-a-bye Billy

Billy is a baby that likes to sleep. Normally, I don't have any trouble getting him to go to bed for a nap or for the night. He's tired, he goes straight down. But this past week has been another story altogether.

This past week he stands up in his crib and screams at the top of his lungs, voice cracking, heart-wrenching endless crying. For some reason he just refuses to sleep. Some of the blame has to go to those evil teeth that are plaguing him right now, but something else is obviously going on.

It's not as though Billy never throws a tantrum about going to bed. Sometimes he won't want to go to sleep and I will find all of his stuffed animals and blankets on the floor, binkies too and him crying in his crib. This is the attention getting technique.

But now Billy knows when I pour the milk into his sippy what is coming and starts to whimper. Then when I pick him up he starts screaming. I can rock him and get him to lay down, but as soon as I leave the room he stands up and starts screaming. It's not the normal crying. This past week has been a new level of anxiety in his voice.

I've heard that the human brain has a physical reaction to babies crying. Probably a throwback to when those cries could mean being eaten by a sabertooth. I can feel my stress level shoot through the roof. I just want to get him to quiet down. It's hard when the best thing for him is sleep and he refuses to.

Yesterday we had to let him cry it out. I hate CIO. He went on for more than a half hour before I binkied him up for the bazillionth time and he finally settled down. Today he was on track to do it again. Daddy's method is to just turn off the monitor and let him cry himself to sleep. I just can't take it. So after 20 minutes I had to go back in and get him.

What he wanted was to be fully rocked to sleep, with singing (God help him). But I rocked, shushed and sang just like when he was a teeny little guy. He clung to me and smiled as he drifted off. I would much rather rock him for 20 minutes than listen to him cry during that time. He fell asleep in my arms and no tears when I put him down. So much less painful than CIO for everyone.

November 21, 2011 ~ Total Toddler Meltdown

This morning began with Billy throwing his strawberries on the floor. He thinks it's funny to watch Buddy clean up the mess. Mommy and Daddy don't think it's funny, although we do appreciate that Buddy cleans up the toddler food messes around here.

Daddy witnessed the initial event and me verbally punishing Billy followed by a rap on the back of the hand. (We use a light smack to the back of the hand when he is being really bad. It only hurts his feelings.) In defiance Billy picked up more berries and tossed them. No! Then Billy got mad and threw his sippy and tried to toss the entire contents of his tray. Daddy picked up the cup and held it in place so he couldn't throw it. Initiate Total Toddler Meltdown.

You would have thought we removed his hand or something with the screaming that went on, face red, vocal chords reaching epic heights. He wailed for 20 minutes over not being able to throw food on the floor. Even the binky didn't appease him. He had to just calm down on his own. Eventually, he realized he was hungry and decided to eat the strawberries that weren't sacrificed to the dog.

Dinner was a repeat. He wanted to throw baked beans around the kitchen. While I don't mind him making a dinner mess, I'm trying to keep things clean for Thanksgiving. I wouldn't let him hold the beans- he could use a spoon, but no hands. When he tried to use his hands anyway and I took the bowl away... initiate Toddler Meltdown (take two).

And what happened at bedtime? Take Three! Yeah, he threw every animal and blanket out of his crib in a tantrum. Binky two- to his dismay after he realized he wanted that. Luckily, he wore himself out with all that screaming, so it wasn't hard to get him to sleep after that last tantrum.

Let's hope tomorrow brings a happier, better-behaved Billy.

November 13, 2011 ~ Just Put It On Your Head

This morning's breakfast quickly deteriorated into a full out tantrum. I took his binky away. Dear God- no! If he has his binky while he's eating then he plays with his food instead of eating it. So I swiped it to give him a chance to focus on his milk and fruit and cheerios. This started the crying. Then he started flailing his arms so that food was flying everywhere. I put a quick stop to that, which produced loud screaming and red face. So...

I picked up the sippy cup and bowl of fruit and put both of them on my head. In the midst of crying he looked at me, paused, started laughing, then went back to crying. Are you sure? I made the bowl and sippy cup do a little jig on my head. Ok, peals of laughter. When it comes to my kid, the trick is ALWAYS put it on your head. Solves almost any problem.

From breakfast we went to play in the living room. I gave him a music box shaped like a piano to look at. It plays Fur Elise, so I wound it up for us to listen to. He was thrilled that the lid of the piano opened to show a jewelry compartment, containing a manufacturer's card. He put the card in, took it out, repeat. This went on for a few minutes until he got bored. Then he started looking around for something else to put in the piano. We don't keep toys in the living room, so there wasn't anything at hand to grab. Did that deter him? No, he yanked the sock right off of his foot and shoved it into the piano. Hmm, but now his foot was cold. So he took it back out and handed it to me to put on his bare foot.

What next? Well, he decided he wanted to take a bath. He walked over to the tub and climbed right in. This is the first time he has ever gotten into the tub himself. I would show you a photo of fully-clothed Billy standing in the tub trying to figure out how to turn on the faucet, but Daddy is obsessed with Call of Duty 3 right now so photos will have to wait until tomorrow. Anyway, he kept trying to get the water into the tub, but it wasn't bath time. So then he decided to try playing with the sink. His stool is tucked under the sink and he has now figured out how to step up on the stool with it under there and hang off the edge of the sink so he can reach the faucet. Danger for two reasons: a) he could fall b) he can freakin' reach the faucet in the bathroom without aid. Yikes.

After naptime and a quick visit from Grandma we went outside to play on his trike, but he didn't want to take a turn around the court. Nope. He wanted to watch Daddy mow. Much cooler. At first he was terrified of the mower, but then he decided it was cool. He even started picking up sticks and taking them to Daddy to help. I kept picking up Billy and dragging him away from the mower. There were also airplanes and a huge raven soaring in the sky to look at. Pretty cool.

Then we went inside to watch the Ravens game and have a snack. Billy decided that the cheese and crackers would be more fun to feed to Buddy than to eat himself. He would take a bite and then feed the rest to Buddy. This is just his sneaky scheme to try to touch Buddy. Buddy does not like to be grabbed and pulled, so he stays just out of Billy's reach at all times. Of course, Billy invents new ways to get to Buddy. And Buddy, forever on a diet, will do anything to get more food. (He's a 40lb cocker spaniel who should weigh 30lb and no matter what I do never loses weight). After snack he started yawning so I asked him if he wanted a nap. He came over and pushed me. I scooted. He pushed again, I scooted again. Then he grabbed my back. Ok, got the picture. I put him to bed and he went straight to sleep. He was asking me to carry him in to his crib.

After Nap 2 Billy wanted to watch the game in Daddy's lap. Nothing else would do. Daddy sat with him while dinner cooked on the grill. We ate before the game was over- probably a blessing not to have to watch the misery on the field. We rarely all eat together but at Billy's request (yes, he asked with pointing and grunts) we all sat at the table to eat. He got to have the same meal as Mommy and Daddy, which is also rare. I try to feed him low sodium, low processed, low sugar foods and often give him fresh fruit or some kind of vegetable undoctored. I don't freak out if he does get to eat junk, but I try to avoid it. Daddy and I, however, eat more junky food than we should. But that's the life of working parents.

I'll post pictures tomorrow!