July 2, 2012 ~ Water, Water Everywhere!

Ok, so a month ago when Billy tried out the pool for the first time this year he hated it. No really. I mean, he loves to be down by the pool, just not in the pool. I could live with this. A healthy dose of fear of the water? Yeah, I can definitely deal.

Scratch that.

Billy is in love with water. Maybe because it's outside? I don't know.

We took Billy down to the river for the first time this year. Buddy joined in for the watery fun. That's Buddy's green Wubba in the background, which Billy thought was most excellent for throwing to Buddy. Who doesn't love to see dogs swimming? Especially Buddy. He waddles when he swims. I don't know how he manages this but it's a definite waddle. And combined with the poofy hair that seems to become a balloon around him...well, it's humorous. Billy thinks so.

Billy couldn't get enough of the river. He had to go in several times. And Mommy had to get in. Every time. But he had a blast and now has no fear of the water.

We even went to the pool.

And that would be No Fear Billy jumping into the water from the top step. Yup. He thinks he's a fish. He thinks he's Nemo. Well, he does have Nemo on his swim diapers... He actually tried to breathe water while sitting on the step. That didn't work out so well, you know, not being a fish and all. But he didn't care. Jumping into the water was super fun.

I think this new love of the water has to be related to the river. Wait! I'll prove it:

This picture is from a year ago. The river was his favorite place to be last summer. I can't blame him.

July 1, 2012 ~ Outside???

First, I would like to apologize for a late post. Couldn't get internet connection last night... ah the trials and tribulations of technology...

Billy is a broken record. Outside? Outside, Mommy? Outside? Well, who wants to be inside when you can live outside in a tent? We didn't go camping this weekend, but since he now knows that you can live outside, why would you want to do otherwise?

He is also now hopelessly obsessed with boats. Mommy, big boat. Outside? AKA let's go outside and look at the boats.

Anything to go outside. Doesn't matter if it's raining, windy, dark, hot or any other inclement weather. Let's go outside.

Billy, do you want to eat dinner?
Outside?
No, at the table.
Uh...no. Outside? Outside, Mommy. Outside!

The SUnday Post ~ Ten Years

It's hard to believe but I am on my way to my ten year reunion...from college. My how things change in a course of a decade.

Ten years ago I was a starry-eyed artist hoping to make my way into the advertising industry and planning to move to Philly or NYC to do it. Since then I have lost important people in my life and gained new ones. I got married, started a family and found a Buddy. We bought a house and now I have years of advertising experience under my belt.

Ten years ago 9/11 was still fresh in our minds and not even a year past. The world was changing but full of possibilities for me.

I wonder what another ten years will bring. In ten years Billy will be 11. What will his world be like?

June 29, 2012 ~ Who's the Boss?

Move over Tony Danza... there's a new boss in town. (Does anyone even remember the reference?)

Daddy: Billy, who's the boss?
Billy: Daddy!

Yep. I tried to convince Daddy who the real boss is (me!) but he's convinced that Daddy is the boss. Daddy didn't een teach him that and Billy doesn't know what it means, but he's sure Daddy is it. Ok, we'll let Daddy get away with it... this time!


Sorry for the late post. Between a bottle of wine and a raging storm I never made it to the computer.

Drawn In Thursdays: On Friday??? What the Fudge?

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Sorry to be a day late and a dollar short, but a sick kiddo takes precedent over a webcomic.

June 27, 2012 ~ First Jump

Leave it to Billy to prevent a yucky sickness from keeping him down-literally.

He loves to run around singing "up and down, up and down" while skip-hopping. He keeps trying to jump, but it ends up being a weird flailing of happy limbs without ever leaving the ground. But those days of super silly flailing Billy are over. He can jump.

And just to prove it to you, he did it twice for me this morning and again this afternoon for Daddy. Yep, he's my lil hopper. On  the mend and on the up and up. Pun intended.

June 26, 2012 ~ Pie-Duh Phobia

I'm sorry lil man, but it seems I have imparted my fear of spiders on you.

His spider woes begin way back on Friday.

After bathing I put his towel around him and mine around me. He has hooded towels, the kind that are popular for kids right now. Well, he freaked out and tossed the towel from his head as if it were on fire. When it landed on the floor a giant black spider crawled out from the hood. That would be a spider recently trapped bewteen the towel and my lil man's head. Pie-duh! Pie-duh!

Yeah, ok. That spider had to go. No one jumps on my lil man's head and freaks him out without paying for it. Down the drain. Byebye.

Then, there we are camping. Out in the woods, surrounded by nature. Billy noticed a spider hanging out outside of the tent but inside the fly (tent rain cover). It was right above his crib. He freaked out. FREAKED. It was a small spider. I tried to allay his fears and tell him it was just dirt. He wasn't buying it. There wasn't much I could do. I tried to ang the spider off of the tent from the inside, but it was happy taking a nap right where it was. He was NOT a fan.

Bring on Monday morning, T-minus 2 hours getting HFMD. (Hand Foot and Mouth Disease). We go to shower and I remove his lil bathtub and out scurries another big, black spider. Same size as before, larger than a quarter when you include the legs. He was not happy and screamed in the shower, afraid the spider was hiding somewhere, even though a handy shoe dispatched the little sucker.

Nope. Not a fan.

I'm pretty sure that spiders are the most vile creatures on Earth. Prove me wrong, but really, they are other-worldly with their eight-legged freakishness. I hate them. If they are inside, then they must die. Outside, we'll think about it.

Well, today we were outside- the only place he seemed happy, so there we stayed. On the window ledge he noticed a Daddy Long Legs. I thought it was dead. It had been there since the day before and hadn't moved. Well, he wanted me to poke it with a stick and move it away from the sofa. Not a problem. It was dead. Not that I'm afraid of DLL, since they rarely bite and don't mind being held. (Think they don't bite? Ask the Mythbusters on that urban legend!) So, I poked it and it skittered away.

I suppose Moses could have appeared witha burning bush in front of him  and scared him less. I chased that poor unhappy DLL to the other end of the porch and tried to convince Billy that it is the only friendly spider out there. o, he tried to feed it a cracker.

Yes, my lil man tried to feed the spider a cracker. I got him to leave it alone since it was napping, but he really wanted to welcome it with a Ritz. No joke. When I explined that it only ate bugs, he cried. No really, tears. I told you spiders are scary. THEY EAT BUGS!!!

If that's not enough, we watched Tangled today (again). I explained that the bad lady was a meanie- a term I use for bugs and other living things he shouldn't go near. "Meanie? Like a pie-duh?" he asked. Yes, a meanie, like a spider. "Oh. She bites," he declared. Because meanie bugs bite.

Pie-duh phobia. Because they bite- those big meanies.

June 25, 2012 It's the Big "I'm Back" Blog Post

Well, after a nutty week at work and a crazy week in the rest of my life I am back at this blogging thing. Here goes:

This weekend we drove Billy out to the mountains to try out camping for the first time in 2012. We went with some very awesome people and had a wonderful time. The weather was nice. We had some hijinks, had to mount a 2am search party and there may have been a manpile, but everybody made it home safe and sound.

Billy's only problem with camping is sleeping. Why wold you want to sleep when you are surrounded by super cool adventures at every turn. I mean, really... a nap? Seriously? When there's a mountain to be climbed?

You can go ahead and caption this picture anyway you like. Daddy decided to get his native on, since he has at least one drop of Native American blood in him. Mind you, not from a tribe in West Virginia, but apparently being up in the mountains just brings it out. Behind my boys is Seneca Rocks.

Billy also made some canine friends on our trip, specifically the two living in camp with us. I think his favorite was Leo, who Billy called Lay-low. I'm pretty sure he thought the dog's name was "yellow" since he pronounced the name close to how he calls the color. Either way, Leo was a perfect Billy size and they are definitely friends now.

And that brings us to poor Buddy who didn't get to go. We had epic meltdown when Buddy went on his own adventure to Grandma's. Billy was sure BudBud was gone. No amount of convincing could get him to stop screaming for his favorite dog. Of course, once he got into the whole camping thing I asked him if he wanted to go home and see BudBud and he responded..."no."

Highlights from our trip:
Billy putting his sunglasses on, taking a dramatic pause... "Cool."

"Billy, what are mountains made of?"
"Big rocks."

And let's not forget his first melon:

Yum! Yum!

_________
And now on to today...

Every day is an adventure. Who needs to drive to the highest point in West Virginia to find one? Not me.

We got to daycare and there were only two kids in his class there and the teachers had out thermometers. Uh oh. They told me the school was having an outbreak of Hand, Foot and Mouth disease. Um, ok... slowly back out towards the door. I had just bathed Billy and he was perfectly spotless. Uninfected. The first kid to show symptoms got sick on Friday and Billy wasn't in school on Friday. Bullet dodged. Phew!

So, I decided not to leave him there and expose him to the disease. Nope. I drove home and packed up everything I needed to take Billy to work with me for the day. I had non-noisy toys and books, food, and since we had just been camping, I grabbed that super awesome Go Crib and his naptime necessaries and packed him into the car. I suspected I wasn't going to get much work done, but it was worth a shot, right?

Well, I had him all strapped in to the carseat and decided to take one last look at him while he was strapped down. Hands? Clean. Mouth? Clean. Feet? Removing shoes, then socks and... damn. That dodged bullet sung right back around and hit the target right in the bulls eye. Crap.

So, I unpack the car and hoof him back inside and call out of work. At least he wasn't sick up on a mountain. Thank God for that. And he wasn't acting sick this morning. But, I knew it was coming.

By this afternoon he was one very unhappy former camper (insert rim shot for extremely lame joke).

Poor lil man. He's so unhappy and the rash is all over his body- more like chicken pox than HFMD. But, it's HFMD and he's suffering through the best he can.

June 24, 2012

Checking out the world from on high- well, at the top of the slide, anyway.

June 23, 2012

Forget Joe Cool. This is Billy Cool.

June 22, 2012

Perfecting the pout. This one is about waiting for Grandpop to arrive.

June 21, 2012

Billy eating dinner at the table like a big boy.

June 20, 2012

Sailabration highlights:

Crying: Mommy, I wanna ship!

"Just remember, stay straight on Gay Street."

After the Blue Angels finished: "More???"

Yelling at the ducks to get out of the water because it was a "no swimming" weekend.

Everybody Needs a Vacation

Everyone needs a vacation, including me. Well, I'm not actually going on vacation, but I am going to be so freakin' busy with work that I need to minimize my daily requirements on my time so that I can hope to get some decent sleep.

For that reason, Becoming Billy will be going on vacation until June 24th. If something really cute happens, I'll be sure to post. No worries, there will be a daily Billy picture post to check in on. Then, check back in on the 24th for regular posting to resume.

Stay sane!

Sailabrate Good Times, C'Mon!

Billy woke up Sunday morning. "Mommy, Nee-yowm!" (Nee-yowms are airplanes). He demonstrated the flying by maneuver and repeated "Nee-yowm!" Boy, was he excited about getting to see the Blue Angels the day before. He was jumping up and down in his crib way earlier than his normal wake up time. Blue Angels are Awesome. That's with a capital A.

So, we decided to take him down to see them again. Only this time, we went to Locust Point to see the Angels. They were so much louder and so much closer than in Fells Point the day before.

Well, we decided to see everything. So we walked from the Kojima to Fort McHenry and back- several miles in all. Then we drove over to downtown and walked from the Power Plant to the Rusty Scupper (aka the entire harbor loop) and back again.

Billy waved at every boat on the water and tried to say hi to all of the people, but there were a lot of people. Too many people to get on the boats- the wait was just too long. So we walked around and looked at them. Billy saw the people out in the dragon boats (paddle boats, not Chinese sailing vessels). "No! No!" he shouted at them. We had had some discussions about not going in the water. Apparently, they were too low in the water and he thought they were swimming, which was a big nono. No swimming in the harbor- ever.

We stopped to eat some festival food. Funnel cakes and fried oreos. Yum! Billy got to try both for the first time. Funnel cakes were yummy, but move over for the oreos. He tried it and you know what he thought? He grabbed mine out of my hand and shoved it in his face. Yep. That good. No worries. I got another one.

We had a fabulous time Sailabrating and look forward to 2014, sure to be an even bigger hit. We're sorry to see the ships go, and I miss the Blue Angels practicing over my office already, but wow was it fun while it lasted!

Posting Postponed!

Yesterday was Father's Day and Daddy wanted to play his computer game, so I couldn't very well kick him off of the computer to blog on his day. Full posting about the weekend will commence tonight. Pictures and all! Check back later!

Sorry for the delay.

The Sunday Post- Sailabrating!

Why I love Sailabration:

On the first day of Sailabration this is what I saw:
12 Sailors singing
11 Pennants flying
10 Bombs a bursting
9 Reenactors acting
8 Tall ships sailing
7 Food stands cooking
6 Captains saluting
5 BLUE ANGELS!!! (well, really 6!)
4 Gray hulls
3 Warships
2 Pirates
And one tour of the Iroquois!

Billy watching the Blue Angels

The Sigsbee and Lady Maryland from the deck of the USCG Eagle

Visiting Ships

You should come Sailabrate too!

June 15, 2012 ~ Learning To Spit

According to Billy, the ability to spit is not innate. Well, on command. Or no...

Actually, let me correct that. He's been able to spit food and water for, oh, about a year now- probably longer. If you count dribbling peas down his chin, then definitely longer. Like, today, when he was purposefully spitting water on Grandma to be silly. I don't think Grandma thought it was all that silly, Billy.

Well, we're learning to brush teeth. I'm not. I know how to brush my teeth. But he's learning. It involves his toothbrush, a stolen toothbrush of mine (lucky I have another one, and yes, it's clean) and a lot of trial and error. The brushing is more like sucking water out of the brush and asking for more water. Then I attack him with a brush while he squirms and then relents, because we're going no where until he molars are at least glanced by a brush. He's got the whole sticking the brush under the running water part down. Now he's working on spitting.

This morning he leaned his head over the sink when I did. Then he made a spitting noise. But... no spit. Just the noise. Hmm. I guess spitting is a work in progress.

June 14, 2012 ~ Cake

(I did not foget to post. Daddy had to beat his game, so I had to wait to use the computer. Better late than never.)

Well, the other day was a big birthday for someone important. Someone that doesn't really like cake, but when she does eat cake it needs to be the good stuff. So, I drove myself through baseball traffic. I drove myself through Sailabration traffic. Just to pick up the tastiest cake available in our fine city- Sugarbaker's raspberry amaretto cake with buttercream icing. Look, if you're going to have a milestone, you might as well celebrate in style.

This special someone came over on her birthday and had the cake presented to her here. She was kind enough to share some with a lil guy.

Billy has not had cake in a long time. Either early winter or late fall. Sometime in that range, which, given his age, is a very long time ago to him. So, I doubt that he really remembers what cake is like. He's had cupcakes at school. Not the same.

Well, the cake was so tall that one of the icing flowers was crushed against the inside of the box lid. This gave him the perfect opportunity to try some purple icing. At first he was unsure. Here's this blob of periwinkle goo sitting on cardboard and the adults are saying... "Try it!"

I put some on my finger and showed him that Mommy thought it was yum. (OMG yum!) So, he timidly stuck a finger into the goo. Then he examined it and took a small sample. You know what he did next? He stuck it in his ear! Just kidding. (see the post Going Strawberry Blonde). No. He tried to stick his whole hand into the top of the cake for more. I had to grab him quick before he ruined the cake. It was all I could do to keep him from attacking the actual cake as he devoured every last morsel of purple sugar on the lid.

Well, this special someone doesn't want to acknowledge the passage of time. So I won't talk about that. I'll just post some pictures of Billy and the cake!

Purple icing mayhem!

Getting that last morsel from the lid.

Birthday hijinks!

After dinner Billy got a slice of cake. He smushed all of it into his face. And when he was done? Well, in the great words of Great Aunt Peggy, "That tastes like some more!"

How could we turn him down? He actually said, "More, please?" Manners like that need rewarding, right? ;)

Drawn In Thursdays: Things Kids Do #8

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Fad du jour: The Dinner Hug

June 12, 2012 ~ Happy Birthday!

This is a personal message, going out to an awesome lady from one awesome little kiddo (and me!). Here's wishing you a wonderful birthday, a wonderful year and many happy more to come.

(Just a hint, I mention her sometimes here on the blog!)

Have an awesome birthday!

June 11, 2012 ~ Inundated With Helicopters

It has been the day of helicopters. No joke. I'm inundated, and frankly, tired of hearing them. It started just after lunch. Three helicopters buzzing overhead for hours. It's hard to concentrate in those conditions. Here's what was up:

That would be the massive 5 alarm fire burning right by my work. As I write they are still trying to put the fire out, and we're talking about lunchtime today that it started. I walked down toward the end of the day to have a look.

So just before bedtime I took Billy outside to look at the fireflies. They were out early in the shadow of our tree, which was lucky for him to get to see them. As we were pointing them out to each other (he's an excellent firefly spotter) a police helicopter flew by. Then it started circling right by our house.

I have no idea why they are circling. But they've been out there for about 45 minutes now. Billy got to see a real one in person, which was super cool for him. He loves his toy helicopters, but the real mccoy is always better.

I'm pretty sure it followed me home like a lost puppy from the fire. Dude, there's no room at the inn. Go on home and stop buzzing me!

____________________________________
Oh yeah. Billy has changed the lyrics to his Pie-Duh song.

"Pie-duh itsy pie-duh pie-duh pie-duh sun pie-duh."

June 11, 2012 ~ Pie-Duh! Pie-Duh!

Last night we packed up the whole family and went for dinner to our friends' house. Billy was waiting with baited breath (read: whining all day long) to go see his friend, slightly older, that he admires greatly. The two of them have excellent adventures together.

Well, anyway, Billy was very chatty on his way over to see our friends. But Daddy and I couldn't figure out what he was trying to say. Strings of identical words in rapid succession. Then, when I looked back at him in his carseat, I saw his hand motions and suspected he might be singing.

"Pie-duh, pie-duh, pie-duh, pie-duh!" Take a breath.

"Pie-duh, pie-duh, pie-duh, pie-duh!" Take a breath.

"Pie-duh, pie-duh, pie-duh, pie-duh!" Take a breath.

Sounds like a bunch of nonsense, right? Yeah, that's what we thought at first, too. But then I saw him twisting his hands together.

"Oh! Pie-duh!" You know. Pie-duh. Like the big black one that scared me poopless while I was gardening today. Pie-duh. Aka spi-duh. Yes, spider!

He was singing (in my clearly genetic out-of-tune fingernails on chalkboard way) Itsy Bitsy Spider. It was the hand motions that gave it away. But I got it!

So Daddy and I joined in, in unison-very Brady Bunch, singing along in the car to Itsy Bitsy Spider.

"The itsy bitsy spider climbed up the..."

"NO!" Billy shouted.

"Pie-duh, pie-duh, pie-duh, pie-duh!" Take a breath.

"Pie-duh, pie-duh, pie-duh, pie-duh!" Take a breath.

"Pie-duh, pie-duh, pie-duh, pie-duh!" Take a breath.

He wanted to serenade us with his very own rendition and didn't want any help. Just remember- pie-duh, pie-duh!

The Sunday Post ~ Fear of the Water

I used to think that I didn't want my son to be afraid to the water. That was a month ago. But after watching him run headlong towards deep water with no fear of jumping in, despite an inability to swim, I've completely changed my mind.

Yesterday, he fell in the baby pool. I was Right there when he tripped and his head went under just long enough to scare him. Suddenly, the fearlessness was gone and he didn't want to be in the pool anymore. Since then, he's garnered a healthy respect, if not blatant fear, of the water. I'm ok with this.

No fear of the water is a bad thing. Running headlong into deep water drop is a bad thing. I read a book last year, a true story, in which the one and a half year old (that's Billy's age!) wandered off to investigate a duck pond and drowned. Yes, a fear of the water is good.

Don't get me wrong, I want him to love the water- later- when he learns how to swim. And, you know, doesn't try to dive into the deep end because he knows it's over his head.

But now? I'm ok if the deepest he wants to get is on the first step and no further. Yep, I'm ok with this.

(Sorry for rambling or being incoherent- it's hard to write with a one-year-old attempting to rewrite your post while you're writing it!)

Every blog needs a Meme

That's Meme, not MeMe... not to be confused.

June 7, 2012 ~ The Toy Catalog

This morning Billy found a toy catalog in the trash. It's one of those Sunday circulars from a big toy store... you know, that big toy store. Ok, ok I'll just come out and say it was from Toys'R'Us. Sheesh.

He found it just on the way out the door for school and insisted on bringing it along for the car ride. Poor ChooChoo. Banished to the back seat. And poor Red BeepBeep, relegated to hanging out with outcast ChooChoo. Tigger? Well, Tigger got to sit in the carseat. Under Billy's feet. Feet pillow. Poor Tigger.

Nope. No other toys. He read that toy catalog cover to cover on the way to school. Then he walked into his classroom and triumphantly announced, "Bicockle!" Yes, this particular issue is filled with bicycles, affectionately known as bicockles to Billy.

Then this evening we had storytime. What book did he want? That damn toy catalog. We read all about his very own Green Piece of Awesome, now on sale. And let's not forget the terrifying tale of inflatable pools and plastic slides! Then there was the scary story about swings. The fearsome fable of water tables. The parable of the play house. And the legend of Power Wheels, the Ultimate BeepBeep.

And I bet you thought it was just a piece of junk mail.

Drawn In Thursdays: Hygiene Enforcer #8

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Dirt. It's a love/hate relationship.

June 5, 2012 ~ One in the Hand

When I picked Billy up from daycare today there was nobody left in his room. (No worries, he was in another room with kids and teachers). But we had to go in his room to gather his things.

"Mommy, oush-shide." He points to the window. Normally, outside means "I want to go outside", but today he meant "I want to look out the window."

These windows are up high, so I have to pick him up for him to be able to see out. He loves to look out this window and his teachers often pick him up so he can look at a dog (either it lives there or it's owner works in the building behind the daycare- not sure) and to look at the yellow truck often parked in the lot behind the daycare. Dogs and trucks...what more could a boy want?

Well, just as I picked him up a bird flew right at the window. Wait! This is not a tragic bird crashing into a window story. No birds were harmed in the making of this post. But Billy did want a closer look at the dive-bombing birds that was now happily eating on the ground beneath the window.

Unfortunately, the bird was just visible, but not really where it was in relation to the window. This irked the lil man, who really wanted a look at that bird. That's when I looked up. And sitting on the lowest branch of the tree right outside the window was a goldfinch.

"Oooh!" Billy said. "Birdie!"

It wasn't just a pretty bird. It was a pimping bird. He had two goldfinch gals hanging out eating dinner with him.

What an opportunity, I thought to myself. A colorful birds- to work on colors. AND, the male and females are right next to each other, which is an awesome science lesson (albeit for someone maybe a little older).

"Billy, what color is that bird?"

"Yay-yow!"

Here's where I explained about the boy bird being bright yellow and the girl birds being brown and trying to point out the difference and relate it back to toddler boys and girls in general (like that girls wear skirts, etc.).

His response?

"Mommy, isha birdie! Yay-yow!"

"That's right. It is a yellow bird."

(I would be proud at this moment, but he loves to say "yellow" and calls everything yellow regardless of color, even if he knows the difference.)

June 4, 2012 ~ (dramatic pause) No!

I can't help it. During some of his latest tantrums I just want to laugh. I should be serious, but really, it's pretty funny. For instance (an except of a tantrum from today):

My MeMe. Give!

Say please.

(dramatic pause) No! (waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh!) Give!

Billy, just say please and I will give it to you.

(dramatic pause) No!

Do you want your MeMe?

(dramatic pause) No! (reaches and grabs for MeMe in a desperate attempt to get it back)


And it's when we get to this point in the tantrum that I want to break out my Inigo Montoya "I do not think it means what you think it means".

"Do you want a cracker?"

(dramatic pause) No! (shovels crackers in his mouth like a hamster)

He loves his dramatic pause. But honestly, he needs to fill that void or I'm going to end up filling it with laughter.

June 3, 2012 ~ Mommy's Lil Helper

So, the weather is nice and...holy crap, it's June!...so I am in full garden mode. It's pretty much entirely impossible to get any gardening done with a small person under foot. There are the really cool looking snippers, that look so appealing to cut off little fingers. Then there are spades and shovels and other sharp garden digging tools that are perfect for causing injury. And that whole, not paying attention to your toddler attempting to dash into the road to get a better look at a beepbeep... yeah, well. Gardening + toddler=No Go.

So, I've been working on my garden when Billy is sleeping. It's slow going, especially since the weeds have been growing since February. I think the new house is looking pretty sharp. I turned the grass-filled fire pit into a begonia haven. And I ripped out undergrowth to have an impatiens bed.

But those pesky weeds. Constant maintenance. What boy wouldn't want to dig in the dirt and kill plants? Whoa. We have a winner. I rip, he tosses. Then he rips out random non-flowering whatevers, even things that aren't weeds and I let him go to town. He's occupied. He's happy. I get to garden without major mishap. Win win.

Until he throws dirt in my underpants and Daddy laughs. It's not that I was sporting plumber's crack, but bent over the weeds there was enough of a gap for him to chuck a handful of soil into my pants, which quickly ended up in places I had hoped would never have garden soil associated with them. And, of course, since Daddy laughed, Billy took it as "do that again, but with more vigor this time." So, he threw dirt on my seven times. He got warned. He got 3 time outs. Then he got a 5 minute time out in hiss room- the first time ever to be sent to his room. And he STILL did it.

Here I find the perfect blend of boy fun and Mommy fun and Daddy goes and gives him a rotten idea. I think Daddy needs a time out. And I think I need new underpants...

The Sunday Post ~ It's the Small Things

It's the small things that make life with child easier. Getting to drink your coffee before it goes cold. A smile. A hug. 15 uninterrupted minutes to shower. You know, the small things.

Today the highlight of my day was to be there when he pooped. Ok, it's gross. But somebody has got to change his diaper and that's a very short list of volunteers, me being at the top. So, to be there when the disaster occurs means I can cut it off at the pass. Instead of major diaper destruction, there was only minor diaper duty. AND, I happened to be standing there for not one, but both bomb drops for the day. My day was just that much easier. Yes, this was the highlight of my day.

Like I said, it's the small things.

June 1, 2012 ~ Yeah, I'm THAT Mom

It's true, I'm that Mom.

If you're in the Mid-Atlantic, then you probably know about all of the storms and tornadoes that hit today. Serious weather, seriously. It was no joke- and the footage of all of the damage around the state just proves that.

Well, there I was eating dinner and catching up on my TV show On Demand. I have to say, and I'm not a huge fan of Verizon, that I was really impressed with FiOS today. While I was watching video on demand FiOS automatically cut off my show and switched it to a live broadcast station due to the tornado warning for my area. It didn't turn my show back on, but I was impressed that it tuned me into the news so that I could be informed. Way to go FiOS.

And here we go- I'm that Mom.

Yeah, I went and got the Go Crib. I had it fully dissembled from washing it, so not only did I have to blow it up, but I also had to reassemble the whole thing. (It comes apart to wash, but stores intact.) Then I put it in an interior space on the lower level and moved sleeping Billy to it with a bunch of his luvies.

I also gathered the camping lantern and telephone and locked Buddy down on the lower level with us.

But, look, here's the thing. Billy sleeps upstairs against an outer wall. The TV room is in a relatively safe place downstairs. If a storm had hit, I would not have been able to run up, grab him, and run back down to safety.

I am no stranger to weather and I don't take these situations lightly. If that makes me THAT Mom, then so be it. I have been caught on the water in open craft during squalls. I have sailed through two tropical depressions and ridden out a hurricane on a tall ship. I've been in a house struck by lightening, and seen lightening hit an object 100 feet from me and blow it up. And I've seen a tornado in person and seen one form over my head (and I don't live in tornado prone areas). Hurricanes? Old hat. I'm pretty cautious when it comes to weather after all I've seen. Better safe than sorry.

Billy slept through it all, even the move to the lower level and then back to the crib after the front passed. So, yeah. I'm that Mom. I'm ok with that.

May 31, 2012 ~ Awful Breakfast

According to Billy, this morning's breakfast was awful. His word, not mine. Literally, awful. Now, he ate all of it up and asked for more, but it was still awful. He had it for breakfast yesterday and called it awful then too. And, he'll likely have it tomorrow and continue to call it awful.

Don't worry, I'm not torturing my little man. He ate it all up every time and despite calling it awful, actually really likes it. In fact, he also told me it was yum yum.

See, the problem is the name. It's just too hard to pronounce. He's mixing up his letters.

That's how waffle became awful.

Drawn In Thursdays: Things Kids Do #7

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Cribs keep waking babies in, but they also keep sleepy babies out.

May 29, 2012 ~ Busy, Busy, Dizzy, Dizzy

He must be feeling better.

Billy ran circles around the kitchen and living room all evening. He chased Buddy and popped his popper to his heart's content. He kazooed and sang and insisted that everybody "jump!" together. So there are Daddy and myself with lil man, jumping on command in the kitchen.

Picture Daddy in Billy in matching blue shirts. Billy decides to spin in a circle until he gets dizzy. So dizzy that he belly-flops on the floor in fits of giggles. Daddy decides this looks like a fun game and joins him. The two of them spinning in circles, getting dizzy. Then, after getting as dizzy as possible, chasing each other around the room as fast as they can without falling down (from being so dizzy). It was hilarious.

I would have taken a picture, but Daddy wasn't wearing pants. Underpants. No pants. So no photos. But go ahead and paint yourself that mental picture of Daddy and Billy spinning around the kitchen in matching shirts.

May 28, 2012 ~ Looking Up

Billy is looking up...to his friend T.

T and his parents came over today for a visit and to play with Billy. He's a little older and Billy looks up to him. Way up. When T laid his blanket down, Billy did the same. When T picked it up, Billy copied. T had a big boy cup, so Billy wanted one. Anything to be like T.

Now, just like little kids, they didn't get along the whole evening. There were the occasional spats over toys. But mostly, Billy wanted to do whatever T was doing.

And things are looking up for Billy in general. His breathing is much better and he is definitely feeling much better too. I couldn't take him to the pool, but he and T got to play with the water table, which was pretty cool.


____

To all the troops and veterans- we would like to thank you for your service and for all that you mean to this country.

Happy Memorial Day

May 27, 2012 ~ Getting Better

Exhausted so I'm keeping it short.

He was super cranky and took two naps today, but is on the mend it seems- knock on wood. Breathing is much better. He's a lot older than when he had it the last time and is close to the threshhold where he's too old to get bronchiolitis, so here's hoping.

The Billy version of not feeling well:
Run around mad crazy. Then lay on the floor and pet his BeepBeeps.
Chase Buddy around the house. Then sit on hte floor and whine-cry for no reason.
Push his push cart around the house at top speed. Then lay down in my lap and ask for a nap.

I think he only has two speeds. Stop and go, go, go!

Billy's Second Trip to the Hospital

Sorry, I didn't post last night, but as you can see from the title, things have been a little crazy around here.

Around dinnertime Billy became exceptionally upset. I couldn't figure out what was wrong. I made him sit in his room and read a book to calm him and I could hear something going on in his lungs. I held his shirt up and saw the all too familiar tug of the skin through the ribs. Bronchiolitis. The same thing that sent him to the hospital before.

I immediately called the on-call doctor at our pediatrician's office. Our regular doctor is out on maternity leave. The on-call doctor could hear his breathing through the phone and asked me to take him to the E.R. immediately. He was coughing and wheezing and having difficulty breathing.

So, just after bedtime we arrived in the E.R.

They checked him out and treated him with two nebulizers and a steroid. We had to wait several hours so they could continue to recheck his lungs to determine if he needed to be admitted or could go home.

Diagnosis? Bronchiolitis, pneumonia and probably asthma on top of his already raging ear infection and the cold that produced everything.

He hated the treatments, was a nervous wreck in the hospital and just wanted to go home. What he refused to do was sleep. He curled in my arms the whole time, crying sometimes, but definitely not willing to sleep.

We got home after midnight and he fell asleep in his own crib while Daddy and I took turns keeping vigil over him.

He is only at the beginning of this. We have another 40 hours to go in the danger zone before we can relax. It's going to be a very long, long weekend for sure.

Poor guy- he got to try out the pool yesterday and has been talking non-stop about going to the whanner (water). But I can't take him to the pool this weekend while he's sick.

Ok, he's sleeping now. I'm going to go jack myself up with coffee and pry my eyelids open so that I can care for the lil guy for the rest of the day and sit vigil over him tonight.

May 25, 2012 ~ What I Did With My Day Off

7:22  Alarm goes off. Attempt to sleep in.

7:28  Billy starts crying.

7:32  Daddy asks if I want him to get Billy up, aka I need to be up in 5 minutes to make breakfast. No thanks. Sleeping in.

7:36  Billy quiets down.

7:45  Daddy comes in to ask question. Remind him again I still have the day off. Attempt to sleep in. Again.

7:55  Daddy comes in to tell me he's leaving and I have to get up to wait for the roofer who is, now, one hour late for his appointment.

7:56  Give up on sleeping in. Get up and get Billy up too. Go about our normal morning routine.

8:35  Call Doctor to make appointment for Billy. Suspect an ear infection.

8:45  Ready to go to daycare, but continue to wait for the roofer.

9:00  Give up on the roofer and go to daycare.

9:15 Drop Billy at Daycare.

9:30 Arrive at Old Navy to buy swim trunks for Billy since the pool opens this weekend. Have a coupon. Pick up an outfit for myself- mother's prerogative.

10:15 Pick up Billy from Daycare to take to doctor's.

10:30 Have appointment with Doctor. Billy has a raging ear infection. Shocker.

11:00 Drive Billy back to Daycare.

11:10 Call Daddy to tell him about the ear infection.

11:15  Go to Sam's Club to drop off the prescription. They don't have it. Effing son of a monkey's mother.

11:17  Call Doctor and get him to send prescription over to the pharmacy at his office. Contemplate why I didn't just wait there for it.

11:45 Finish buying all of the groceries and baby products we needed from Sam's that Daddy forgot to buy when he was there two days ago. Came home with 50lbs of sausage instead of diapers.

12:00 Drive back over to the doctor's. Remember that I've had to pee for an hour.

12:15 Drive home before the groceries bake in the car.

12:30 Unpack melty groceries. Actually pee.

12:40 Change from cloudy chilly morning outfit to holy crap it's hot afternoon outfit.

12:45 Eat breakfast. Krispie Kremes. Yum. Reheated coffee. Um.

1:00  Vacuum. Had to be done.

1:20  Attempt to finish Buddy's haircut that I started last week. The clipper died and I took it apart to repair it- apparently not so successfully. Make a mental note to buy new clipper. Lament over Buddy's half-haircut.

2:00 Run errand to Rite Aid.

2:20 Run errand to Home Depot.

3:00 Pick Billy up from Daycare for the LAST time today.

3:30 Play with Grandma and Billy in the backyard.

5:30 Finally meet with the roofer.

6:30 Feed Billy dinner.

8:00 Put Billy to bed.

8:15 Blog.



And now?

To finally sit down. Just kidding- I've got stuff to do. I guess it's true...a Mom's work is never done.

May 24, 2012 ~ Why?

Whoever taught my one-year old to answer a direct command with the question, "why?" needs to be taken outback and beaten. Not literally. But you know what I mean. He's one. The answer to "Billy, pick up your toys" should be "Yes, Mama" not "why?" Can I answer a one-year-old with "because I said so?" Probably not. And I'm SO not ready for that.

Billy is in a class of all girls and one other boy. I suspect the sweet little girls in his class. They are darling, but you know, in the middle of their terrible twos and can really turn in to little witches when the mood strikes them. (So can boys-even Billy, btw.) The boys seem to just hit each other and the girls talk back. It's a good thing they grow out of that. Oh, wait...

So, I have a question for the jokester that started Billy on this path. Why? Why, why, why????????????

___________
Let's learn Billy!

Rah-rah: rabbit
Ray-rah: raisins
Rah: robin

Drawn In Thursdays: Things Kids Do #6

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Billy really tried to lather his skin like sunscreen or moisturizer with ketchup. He has also tried it with mustard and other dipping sauces, not to mention bubbles.

Drawn In Postponed

Drawn In will be postponed until lunchtime on Thursday.

Please check back after 12:30pm for your weekly dose of silly Billy.




Sorry about the delay!

May 22, 2012 ~ First Bubble Bath

Today I gave Billy his first bubble bath. He was so thrilled he couldn't wait to get in. "Bubbles!"
Billy loves bubbles. LOVES.

Once he got in he refused to sit down in the tub. He crouched instead. The bubbles obscured the bottom of the tub, but really, he watched the tub fill with bubbles and water, so I don't know why he refused to sit.

My first instinct in a bubble bath is to splash around and pick up bubbles in my hands. Generally the normal thing, right? Billy? He picked up a huge handful of bubbles and... wham! Shoved them in his mouth. Oh, wait... those taste like yuck! He spat them out and then tried to wipe off his mouth, but his hand was covered in bubbles and he ended up with another mouthful of bubbles. Yuck! He spat them out and then tried to wipe them off with his bubble-covered hand again!

Mommy to the rescue! I wiped off his mouth and tossed some toys into the tub. When did bubbles look appetizing?

You would think that Billy had had enough of eating bubbles, right? Wrong! The next thing I know he grabbed a toy cup, filled it with water and bubbles and took a sip. It was disgusting so he spat it out immediately. Then he started giggling. That was pretty funny. Had enough bubbles in the mouth? No! He goes to drink it again!

Ok, Mommy intervention. Cups go away.

At that point he'd had enough. Not with eating bubbles, just with the whole bath in general. Time to get out and go cause toddler mayhem elsewhere!

May 21, 2012 ~ The Ultimate Toddler Mine

Billy is in the "mine" phase. He sees something that he wants, and regardless of actual ownership, claims "mine!" and wants it immediately. Yesterday he offered Daddy his last yogurt bite (snack candy), not realizing it was the last one in the bowl. When he did realize, Daddy had already swallowed it. Too bad. Billy decided it was "mine!" and demanded it back. Good luck with that little man.

Today I had to change the crib sheets so we were playing in his room. As usual, I made a pile of his crib  loveys on the floor. He has a bunch in the crib as any given time, so it's easier to change the sheets if I remove them all.

Well, that started Billy in on a pillow pile- an old game we play. But Pillow Pile suddenly became a new game. "Mine! Pile".

He gathered all of his loveys from around the room and all of his books from his bookshelf into the middle of the floor, climbed on top of the pile and proclaimed, "Mine!"

May 20, 2012 ~ Big Protector Mamma

I don't know if there is a "Be Afraid of EVERYTHING" stage in kids' development, but Billy is in it right now.

Things he fears, in no particular order:
bugs
booboos
freckles
the dark
dog hair
the lawn mower
giraffes
something not being "mine"

I'm sure there's more, but this is what I can think of offhand.

A few days ago he had his first about of fear with the dark and needed me to sleep by his side with a protective arm around him the whole night (lost our power- no light).

Well, he loves to watch people mow from a distance. But today Daddy fired up the lawn mower right next to the porch. Billy jumped with fear and darted behind my chair. Yep, they're loud up close. He wanted to watch Daddy mow, but he was scared. I picked him up and held him so he could watch, but holding 30 pounds of squirmy gets old after awhile.

So, I put him on the ground and crouched behind him. This was only acceptable if I wrapped me arms around him. Which I did. Every time I removed a hand to point to something, or scratch my nose, he would firmly take my arm and place back across him. In hindsight, crouching in jeans was a bad idea. Ok for a few minutes, not for the whole lawn.

So, I ended up relocating to a chair to save my legs. Billy was ok with this, as long as he got to sit in my lap with my arms wrapped around him.

Mowing is the most fascinating thing to him right now, and he didn't want to go do something else, but he had to have protector Mama there to keep him safe from the big bad mower.

The Sunday Post ~ Things I Wish My Toddler Didn't Know Yet

While I cherish every milestone, here is a list of things that I wish he didn't know QUITE just yet:

~ How to open doors
~ How to hide in a closet with bi fold doors- because he knows how to open them
~ How to turn on the water in the sink
~ How to climb on the toilet to reach the faucet
~ How to climb a full-sized ladder. In the pouring rain
~ How to place calls with a telephone
~ How to place calls with an iphone
~ How to crawl into the tub and turn on the water
~ How to work my ipod. ...really, he's one...how can he know this?
~ How to leverage his weight to pull his highchair down
~ How to escape almost any highchair


And just for kicks... a list of things I wish he DID know:

~ How to safely go up and down a flight of stairs (really, he can do a ladder, why not stairs?)
~ How to use the toilet

May 18, 2012 ~ Who's Afraid of the Dark?

Last night, in the middle of the night all of the power went out in our neighborhood. No big deal, except for my alarm not working, right?

Well, Billy is used to his projector nightlight in his room as well as some glow from the streetlamp outside. So, when the usual light in his room was suddenly gone, he started screaming.

People have asked me today why I didn't just go get one of our camping lanterns. Or, why don't I have those glowing loveys for Billy? Well, he's never been afraid of the dark before. And I have no idea where the camping lanterns are. Finding them in the dark would first require finding a flashlight, then digging through our storage closet, meanwhile dealing with a screaming baby. And it was well past my bedtime, so looking for light wasn't in my thinking. I was attempting to coax my tired lil man back to sleep.

First I tried him in the big bed with us. He spent an hour cataloging the features of my face. Nose! Eye! Hair! Ear! Teeth! After an hour Daddy was fed up and sent him back to his crib. Mind you, Billy didn't catalogue Daddy's face. And each item came with a poke to that part. He also danced a jig on my belly with his feet. But Daddy insisted back to the crib and go to sleep.

Billy only listened to the first part. I could hear him moving his toys around in the crib over Daddy's snores. I was awake from the sounds of the BGE trucks outside and the flashing lights from the truck and the men on foot with flashlights.

The lights came back on and Billy settled down. His room was back to normal. But after about a half hour the lights went out again and he started screaming in fear. Clearly, he'd never fallen back to sleep.

So I tried to bring him into the big bed to get him to calm down and go back to sleep. But he attempted to recatalogue my face. At this point Daddy was pissed and sent us out of the room. I rocked him in the rocker, which soothed him, but he wouldn't go back to sleep. I Slow danced him around his dark room, but it wasn't enough.

I thought about CIO and stuck him in his crib. But he immediately attempted to climb out, and having gotten one leg up onto the crib rail, I think he would have succeeded. I relented and did the only thing I could think to do- grabbed my pillow and blanket from the bed and made a a bed on the floor in his room.

I tried first to sleep on the floor with him in the crib, but that was still too far away for him. He was just too afraid. I I let him snuggle in with me on the floor. He tried briefly to roam around his room, but I explained he either had to come lay down next to Mommy or go back in his crib because it was bedtime. He decided to lay down beside Mommy.

He cuddled up under the blanket and lay his head on the pillow beside me. Then he pulled my arm over him and went to sleep. I woke up when the sun was up and put him back in his crib. There was plenty of light in his room by then and no reason to fear.

Daddy says that I am teaching him bad habits and letting him walk all over me. He thinks Billy should never be allowed in our bed. But I don't think Daddy remembers being small. Late night thunderstorms, blackouts, and other things often sent me scurrying to my parents bed for safety. Especially power outages in winter during snowstorms, where staying warm meant sleeping in my parents bed.

Can you blame a little guy for being afraid when things are suddenly different?

May 17, 2012 ~ Fire Trucks, Bubble Blow-Ups and the Sushi Incident

This morning a gave Billy a new shirt. It has a fire truck on it. Nothing special, but he likes trucks, so I picked it up when I saw it. I held it up this morning for him to see. He likes to pick out his clothes each morning. He has very discerning taste- airplanes always beat out monkeys.

So there I am holding up his brand new shirt. He lays it in my lap and pets it like it's "my precious!" At this point I'm thinking he's going to want me to put in on. Nope. He cuddles it. In my lap. Again, I'm thinking "my precious!" It's a shirt. With a fire truck.

I put it on him and he freaks out. "Off! Off!" How can he hug his shirt if it's on him? Don't worry. Billy has a solution to that. Hug himself! He spent all morning hugging himself. If I pointed to the truck on his shirt he would cover it with his arms and say, "Mine!" At school he did the same. I think he likes his new shirt...


After school I took him out in the backyard to play with bubbles. I thought this would be a great idea. I found them at the dollar store, 3 for 1 dollar. How can you beat that? And I've seen the teachers at school, like pied pipers, gather the kids around and blow bubbles. The kids chase after the bubbles in a trance-like state. Time to try this out at home.

So I had some trouble getting into the bubbles which got Billy riled up to begin with. Then when I whipped the bubble wand from the bottle he started screaming "Mine! Mine! Mine!" This morning it was Lord of the Rings and now onto Finding Nemo. I blew some bubbles, which only made him scream and cry. Tears streaking down his face in frustration of not holding the wand. So, I relented and gave him the wand. Only, he started poking his finger through the holes and then blowing randomly into the air. This brought on more screaming tears. "No bubbles! No bubbles!" Finally, I wrested the wand back from him and blew some big bubbles that clung to the grass. But he only wandered away defeatedly crying about "mine bubbles!" I give up. I don't have the pied piper magic that the teachers at school have. No more bubbles.

For dinner we joined Grandpop and Uncle Alex and his girlfriend at my favorite sushi bar for dinner. Enter the problem. The high chair had the safety strap going across Billy's knees. It was designed this way. Not the kind where the harness comes from the back and really holds the kid in. Nope. Across the knees. AKA: F this, I'm outta here suckas! No matter how tight, Billy only had to scoot back and pull up his feet to find freedom. And oh, didd he exert his freedom.

Mommy's lap. Grandpop's lap. Batting the curtains behind Mommy in the booth. Removing the entire contents of the diaper bag. One item at a time. Flinging dumplings. Crawling up onto Mommy's head. Stealing chopsticks. Eating edamame faster than I could pop the beans out. Back to Grandpop. Back to using Mommy as a jungle gym. Getting scolded to behave by a four year old boy.

And that's when Mommy wrapped up dinner to go and left the other three adults to enjoy their dinners at the restaurant while monkeyman and myself went home.


Billy word of the day: cockle. otherwise known as a motorcycle. Not to be confused with keckle, a freckle.

Drawn In Thursdays: Things Kids Do #5

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From this morning. Yes, he really thinks you bless the choo choo (train). Ok, maybe he didn't give me flowers this morning. I still blame the flowers on my sneezing. Not the ones he gave me specifically, just all flowers in general.

May 15, 2012 ~ I Heart Roomba

I am in love with a robot. It's true. I pilfered it from Grandma (I swear I'll give it back soon, Mom!) Here's how my day goes with my favorite robot:

Turn Roomba on. Ignore.
Make dinner.
Empty Roomba. Turn back on. Ignore.
Eat dinner.
Relocate Roomba after getting stuck. Turn on. Ignore.
Watch TV.
Empty Roomba. Turn back on. Ignore.
Blog.

Ok, it always misses spots and can't handle stairs, but I can go about my evening and do chores while not having to actually DO the chores. How awesome is that?

Hey Grandma, can we work out a custody agreement on Roomba? Until Daddy buys me my own, anyways. ;-)

May 14, 2012 ~ Beware the Zombie Mommy!

Beware the Zombie Mommy, it could be lurking anywhere. You'll know her when you see her. Bloodshot eyes, the walk of the dead and moaning for "more coffee!" Her clothes will be unkempt and you might even find a stray cheerio clinging to her Zombie Mommy boob. She will also appear deaf to the screaming passel of small people running around her.

Be warned! Zombie Mommy is out there. I know. I've been her. Some days I return to the living dead.

Seriously, I think I should change my blog name to Zombie Mommy. It would be more fitting. The only thing that gets me through the day is caffeine. I couldn't make it without coffee. How did I get here from zero caffeince during pregnancy to living off of coffee? I couldn't have been the 5 months of being woken up every hour to stick the binky back in lil man's mouth. But that was last year, and I'm still the walking dead.

I guess it's just the result from being on the other side of Mommyhood. Hello, Zombie...bring on the coffee!

May 13, 2012 ~ Don't Feed Buddy!

So, today, being a holiday and all, I was preparing a big meal for our family. Normally, because I have an impatient toddler, I make food with a combined prep + cook time of under twenty minutes. This minimizes the amount of stress in my life so that I don't have to hear Billy whine the whole time about being hungry.

Today I was making a more complicated meal than normal. Nothing terribly fancy. No, that would have meant hours or days of prep work. I've done Thanksgiving before... not that level of prep. Daddy was responsible for the burgers, but I was handling everything else. So, over an hour of prep time for everything. With a one-year-old this is asking a LOT.

I prepped for prepping by bringing boxes of toys into the kitchen. I'm skilled at cooking in an obstacle course, but less skilled at removing a screaming, clingy toddler from me while pouring boiling water out of a pan. So, distractions. It's the name of the game.

I neglected to take into account that Billy likes food. LIKES food. Who needs toys when there's food? He told me he was hungry. No problem. This is good. Perfect, even. He will be confined to the high chair eating and busy (read distracted!) while I prep. I'm all for this. He wants apple. Even better- it's already cut up and ready to go. I love it when a plan comes together.

Or not.

Billy has tossed his apple to Buddy. All of it. I remind him that we don't feed Buddy. Then he asks for rice. I'm not cooking rice, but  have it ready to go. I heat it up, add butter and serve. Voile!

Or not.

Suddenly, it's like fireworks on the Fourth of July. Only, instead of pretty, sparkly lights, tiny kernels of rice fly everywhere in an outward exploding fashion. Billy giggles and tells me he's feeding Buddy. Major scolding. Not to mention, Buddy doesn't like rice. Don't feed Buddy!

But Billy insists that he's hungry. So I break down and go for the treats. Really, he doesn't deserve them, but maybe he will be distracted for 5 minutes so I can get stuff done. And...raisins fly around the room. Buddy loves raisins. Of course, because they are poisonous to dogs. LOTS of scolding. Don't feed Buddy!

So Daddy comes in and makes him a quesadilla for dinner and tries to give it to him. He looks at it, doesn't take a single bite, and tosses it on the floor. Don't feed Buddy!

At this point I give up on the food. I take it away and plop him on the floor. Look! Toys! Beepbeeps and Neeyowums and a book! Forget it. He stands by make leg, pulling on my pants whining for food. He spends the next fifteen minutes begging me for an egg. This is problematic, since I am currently cooking eggs, but not the way he's used to and not for him to consume stand alone. They are being hardboiled to add to a salad, not sunny-side up like he's used to. Once they are done though, he continues to harass me for an egg, so I give him a slice. Bring on the refrain. You know it's coming. Don't feed Buddy! Yup. One bite and off to the belly of Princess Fuzzy Butt (Daddy's new nickname for Buddy since he needs a haircut).

And of course, Billy then proceeds to whine for more food.

So I do what any good Mom would do. I play the Mother's Day card. I send Daddy off to the store and make him take Billy. It's amazing how much you can get done without a whining weight attached to your hip. Dinner was done and I sat down to a cocktail with plenty of time to spare.

Bring on dinner.

We all sit down to eat. I fix Billy a plate with only a small amount of food on it, hoping that if he chucks it he won't be able to toss too much to the dog. He did chuck cheese at Buddy, which I gave him to keep him quiet while we served up. C'est la vie. He whined for his hamburger. "Mine!" Then threw it to the dog. Don't feed Buddy!

But, of course, he couldn't get enough watergate salad. Two seconds flat and it was gone. Then he went around the table asking for up from each adult, hoping to swipe the watergate off of their plate. Grandma was a sucker, but I swallowed all of mine down before he could snarf it from my plate. He didn't like that too much, but I made it, so I get to eat it. And enough sugar before bed, already.

I'm all for sharing, but Buddy got more food out of Billy today than his usual doggy dinner, and a lot of it stuff I'd prefer he never eat, especially the stuff that makes him sick. I just can't figure out how to convince Billy... don't feed Buddy!

Happy Mother's Day!

To all the Moms, Moms-To-Be and other wonderful women, here's wishing you a happy and wonderful Mother's Day!

Today Billy got to try out his new slide from Grandma, a late Christmas present, since the stores were sold out of slides back in December. He was in such a hurry to try it out he barely let me put it together. Then I set it up in the yard and massive amounts of fun ensued.

So, the first couple of runs he was completely naked going down the slide. We had been playing with the water table and, well, soaked everything. So, he decided to go down on his belly, feet first. I think this was probably a very wise manly decision. I wouldn't know for certain, but seems that way. About the fourth time climbing the ladder, he stopped at the top and turned the slide into a water slide. Ok, quick! Grab the baby, fetch the cleaner and a fresh diaper and off to try again.

Second round he had a diaper on. I decided to sit and go down feet first. He flew so fast that his head fell back onto the slide and he flew off the end. Wow. That's a fast slide. Ok, time to HOLD the baby going down. So, I kept a hand on him the whole time and it worked out. Each time he landed with a thud on his bum, giggling from fun. Who doesn't love to slide?

So, from Billy to the super-most-awesomest-slide-buying-Grandma-in-Billy's-whole-world...

Happy Mother's Day!

The Saturday Post ~ Mother's Day

This weekend I'm going to switch it up and do my Sunday post on Saturday.

Still looking for that awesome Mother's Day gift?

Here are some ideas. If you're young, go for the homemade cards and other homemade gifts. But if you're the Dad buying the gifts, think outside of the chocolates box. Moms work extra hard to make sure everyone is fed, clothed, living in a clean house and generally happy and healthy. Thank your Mom in a way that takes some of the everyday stress out of her life.

Here's what I would like:
That pile-o-dishes to magically wash themselves
That pile-o-laundry to magically wash, dry, fold and put itself away
100% clean house without me lifting a finger
Not wiping other people's butts for a day
A massage- for all of those attack hugs

But I'll take with gratitude the flowers Billy brought home for me today from school with a handmade card. It's all the thanks I need.

May 10, 2012 ~ Daddy Gas

This evening Billy kept shouting, "Daddy gas! Daddy gas!!!"

Now, I bet you're thinking that Billy was taking issue with stinky farts. Well, I think most people take issue with that, but that's not what he was talking about.

Let's learn Billy:
Daddy gas=Daddy's cutting the grass!

Yes, apparently mowing the lawn is very interesting. I  took Billy outside (oush-shide) so he could watch Daddy fire up the mower. It sprang to life with a loud rumble that had Billy quaking. "Mommy, insh-shide!" Billy will do anything- ANYTHING- to be outside at all times. Asking for inside is like an adult asking for a root canal. "Mommy, insh-shide!" Yeah, those mowers are pretty scary.

But watching from the safety of the window was pretty cool. He pulled up a chair to watch Daddy mow the back and then got to stand at the front window (it's lower) and watch the whole front mowing entertainment.

A few times the mower cut out. "More?" he asked me every time, expectantly, using his sign language too. Really, mowing is so exciting he wanted more.

He even told Grandma on the phone about fifty gazillion times that "Daddy gas!"

To Billy's great dismay, Daddy ran out of grass to cut. Well, our yard is only so big. But no worries, the grass will grow again. And when that happens, "Daddy gas!"

Drawn In Thursdays: Things Kids Do #4

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May 8, 2012 ~ Billy's First Field Trip

We went to the zoo.

Ok, there is only one word for a field trip involving and entire daycare. Zooey. And I'm not talking about the animals.

Before we even left the house Billy knew something was up and his entire routine was off. This devolved into two epic meltdowns, including one over Mommy's outfit. Apparently, he didn't like my shirt. I wore it anyway and the fashion police never showed, so it couldn't have been that bad.

I asked him what he wanted to see at the zoo. "Grandpop!" Well, already in for disappointment. I think Billy thinks Grandpop lives at the zoo. Grandpop usually refers to his house as the circus, not a zoo.

When we got to the zoo the keepers made up wait around a lot outside- I guess for head counts. For adults, this lined-up mass chaos is just boring. For a one-year-old it is excruciating. Bring on epic meltdown number three prior to ten a.m. The other kids in his class were melting down too. It's a little too much waiting for the Under Two Club.

But we finally made it into the zoo and walked around with his class. We did the petting zoo where a donkey tried to drink out of Billy's sippy cup. But he got to pet that same donkey while it licked his cup. No worries, Billy didn't drink after the donkey. He also got to pet some goats, and hug one very patient goat.

This pic would be the highlight. Billy got to ride a camel. He was all excited to get on it after another girl in his class went for a camel ride. But then we got on it and he was suddenly terrified. He started to whimper in fear, but I kept coaxing him to pet the nice Mr. Camel, who was letting us ride him. The funny thing was, when we got off the camel he talked on and on about it, all excited. I have no idea what he said, since most of what he says is unintelligible, but he was thrilled- after the fact.

Note to self: field trips with the Under 2 Club- pass.

May 7, 2012 ~ Mine! Mine! Mine!

Think seagulls in Finding Nemo... "mine! mine! mine!"

Over the past week or so Billy has developed a new word and a new habit...mine. Now, I'm not talking about him grabbing something from me and running off screaming "mine!" I'm sure we'll get there, but that's not what I'm talking about.

Today we were playing with Noah's Ark on the sofa. He wanted to play with the lion. So he took all of the other animals and shoved them behind his back, and when he ran out of room he shoved the rest under his butt. I, of course, was given one to play with. They work very hard on sharing at daycare, so he always makes me play with a toy.

Yesterday we were playing with crayons and he had to hold all of them to his chest except the one he was coloring with. It made it very difficult to switch colors. He did the same thing with his sidewalk chalk the day before. He held the chalk to his chest and colored with one hand. It's not easy holding 5 sticks of fat sidewalk chalk at once, especially when your hands are teeny tiny.

He's also big on hiding toys behind his back now. He got a new choo choo and if he thinks I'm going to take it away (say, for naptime) he hides it behind his back and says mine. He also does this with food. He took his loaded spoon of yogurt and hid it behind his back. Or, all over his back and the high chair. Wasn't really all that hidden, what with the giant mess.

The only thing I can think is that the kids at daycare must snatch any toy as soon as it hits the ground. I can't convince him when we're home alone that I'm not going to take his toys. That no one is going to take his toys. They're his. But, he's not convinced.

So, in case you weren't sure, Billy just wants you to know, "mine!"

I will now commence hiding this blog behind my back. "Mine!"

May 6, 2012 ~ A Grand Outing

Today was the big opening of Pierce's Park and I would like to congratulate my cousins on the park and all of their hard work. It's a beautiful space and a wonderful addition to downtown.

Mayor Rawlings-Blake gave a speech.

Then, Pierce's wife gave a speech.

A huge crowd was gathered for the ribbon cutting. Too many for me to get a good photo, so forget that. The speeches were given in front of the musical fence. Once the kids were allowed to go play Billy tried out the fence.

Notice the path. The bricks have homophones written on them.

Billy also loved the willow tunnel. He ran through it several times. ABC2News filmed him running through it and told me he would be in the news story, but the story only got a few seconds of airtime and the footage wasn't there. If they post it on their website I will post a link here.

Billy had a fabulous outing to the park. I think I would take him there regularly, if it weren't so far from home. But he really enjoyed it, so we'll be sure to go back.

At home Billy got to try out a new toy. Blogger has decided to be lame and not let me post any more pics into this post, so I'll post those later. We got him a water table for outside. He soaked himself, the deck, attempted to soak Buddy and dunked his head several times. My pasta pot even ended up in the water table as part of the fun. He giggled for an hour and kept himself busy and soaked the whole time.

He had a good day.

Me?
Woke up with a spider on my nose. Cooked lunch and dinner. Did 5 loads of laundry. Vacuumed the lower level. Took out the trash. Emptied the dishwasher. Separated his outgrown clothes and put them away. Cleaned up the kitchen, bedroom, Billy's room and den. Assembled his water table. Assembled Daddy's new sports caddy. Bought three new books. Attended the grand opening of Pierce's Park. Played with Billy. Blogged. Yeah, I think I'm going to go to bed now...